Author's Note: And I'll bet you never saw this coming, either!

Heero's POV

The Wedding Planner Part 27
Jealousy

I wasn't looking forward to seeing Relena...for a lot of reasons. It was a damn long drive out to her place, and I really was still feeling the effects of jet lag. At least Duo seemed to understand the concept.

I was also still doing a slow burn knowing that she'd hit on Duo when she was drunk, and that she hadn't had the guts to just come clean with me about it. I would've forgiven her in a heartbeat, if she'd just been honest. I mean, shit...if I was having wet dreams about him, how the hell was she supposed to resist her drunken impulses?

Mostly I was disappointed that Duo's and my dinner had been cut short. I was enjoying his company...finding out more about him in that relaxed atmosphere than I had in all of our other talks combined. And while the attraction wasn't any less unsettling, I was starting to come to grips with it. Not that I was ready to act on that attraction...like my wine-soaked fiancée had done. But I had to admit, the temptation was there.

Yeah--no shit. What was I thinking when I picked that place to meet? There we were on a fucking beach, with the breeze blowing those loose wisps of hair around his face. How was I supposed to not keep remembering the erotic dream? And what the fuck was I supposed to do about it?

I was actually kind of proud of the fact that I'd managed to spend a couple of hours in his company without grabbing him and finding out if he felt as amazing in real life as he did in my dreams. Hell, I think I might even have carried on a semi-intelligent conversation; not that I could remember a word of what I'd said, since I was too busy basking in the honey-smooth tone of his voice when he spoke. I could've listened to him all night...the thought of which brought me back to thinking of other things to do with him all night.

I had no idea where all these feelings and urges were coming from. I'd never felt anything like it before in my life, and frankly, it scared the shit out of me. It felt a little like I was drowning and there was no one there to throw me a rope.

I had a sudden impulse to turn the car around and drive to Wufei's place to ask him what the hell I should do. But I wasn't quite ready to bare my soul to him yet. Fuck! I wasn't even ready to bare it to myself. I didn't want to look too hard at what I was feeling or what it might mean.

Denial has always worked reasonably well for me. When my parents wanted me to study business administration instead of criminal law, I acquiesced to their wishes--after all, they were paying for my education, and it seemed like they had a right to guide my future.

And when they introduced Relena and me at some international event and urged me to ask the daughter of their deceased friends out, I saw no reason not to pursue a relationship. As I'd said before, they adored her.

As for the wedding proposal...well, if I were to be totally honest, I'd been pretty drunk at the time, and feeling contrite about making Relena miss the Count's fabulous wedding.

I found myself laughing aloud. What was it Duo had said about making his share of stupid mistakes under the influence? Truer words were never spoken. Other drivers must have thought I was a lunatic, cackling madly as I drove down the highway alone in the car. But it really was just too funny how Relena, Duo and I had all, at one time or another, been brought low by alcohol.

And in light of that little revelation...that all three of us were guilty of letting alcohol make fools of us, I thought maybe I could cut Relena a little slack. I wouldn't let on that Duo had told me about her slip-up. I even managed to convince myself that I wasn't doing it to keep her from getting mad at Duo for telling me.

But what to do about him? I had no right to do anything. I was engaged to be married. And as far as he knew, I was completely straight. Here the guy was, trusting me to be a friend. He wasn't trying to push me into questioning my sexuality. As far as I knew, he wouldn't even have been interested in me if I'd been openly homosexual. I wasn't even sure I was yet.

Ah, denial again. My old friend.

Who was I kidding? Not that I'd ever looked at a guy and felt the attraction I felt for Duo. But when I considered my past, there was a fairly conspicuous lack of female relationships. In high school I'd been caught up in studies and sports. And in college, Wufei had been all the company I needed.

Oh fuck! Was it possible I'd substituted hanging around with Wufei for dating? While I'd never been conscious of a physical attraction, I knew I enjoyed his company far more than that of most of the empty-headed co-eds I'd met. And what would he think if I suddenly announced I was gay? Would he reflect back on all the dorm rooms and apartments we'd shared and wonder if I was ogling him behind his back all that time?

Am I the only one who ever got smacked squarely in the face with this many stupid questions about their sexuality? Maybe I could ask Duo how he figured out he was gay.

Oh, yeah--that'd be a conversation-starter for sure! But at least picturing the shock on his handsome face if I blurted out a question like that gave me a moment's amusement and helped bring me back to reality.

I took a deep breath, steadying my hands on the wheel. First things first. I needed to get to Relena's in one piece, and look into the face of my fiancée, and decide whether marrying her was still the right thing to do. I needed to examine our relationship, and our future, and decide if it could still be salvaged...if I wanted it to be. And if not, how would I even begin to break it to her? I couldn't imagine telling her we were through.

Even if I broke it off with Relena, there was no guarantee that Duo wanted more from me than simple friendship. For fuck's sake, the guy had buried two fiancés. And in spite of the hints that he was missing the intimacy of a relationship, I wasn't at all sure he wanted a serious one, or that if he did, he'd want it with me.

Was that even what I wanted? Did I even know what it entailed? Did I want to jump from one difficult relationship to another that promised even more challenges? Every question I asked myself just brought a dozen more in its wake.

Have you ever had the urge to bang your head on the steering wheel as you were driving down the road?

It was nothing short of miraculous that I arrived at the estate in one piece. Relena hadn't waited up, and I was relieved that all I had to do was knock on her door and call a quiet "good night" through it before heading to my room.

~*~

The next morning I woke up--or at least got up--early, since the tossing and turning I'd done all night could hardly be considered "sleeping." After a quick shower to clear my head, I got dressed and made my way down to the kitchen for a much-needed cup of coffee.

I was no closer to answering any of the questions that had been running through my mind almost non-stop since I'd admitted to myself that I was hopelessly attracted to Duo. And I was no closer to coming up with a plan of action. I just hoped that when Duo arrived for the day's appointment, things would start to become clearer to me. I know I'd found his presence calming the previous evening. I'd been able to stop obsessing about what to do, and just enjoyed the conversation and his company. I was hoping to do the same again today, and give my brain a much-needed rest.

By the time I finished my coffee, Relena was stirring upstairs, as evidenced by the patter of feet in the hallway and her call for Milly to set out breakfast. And as I was crossing the foyer with the morning paper in hand, there was a knock on the door. "I've got it, Walter!" I called, since I was right there.

I opened it with a nervous fluttering in my stomach, expecting to find Duo waiting. But instead it was a tall, elegant blonde-haired man, dressed as impeccably as always.

"Good morning, Heero."

"Milliardo." I shook my future brother-in-law's hand. "What brings you out this way?"

He gave a small, conspiratorial smile and a wink of an ice-blue eye. "My dear sister, of course."

I knew full well he almost never visited Relena, and was about to say so when she came bouncing down the stairs. "Mill!" She threw herself into his arms. "I'm so glad you could make it."

"Make it for what?" I asked carefully, wondering what on Earth she was up to.

"Today, of course," she said with a wide smile. "I thought it would be perfect if Milliardo came along for the day."

"Why?"

Milliardo looked just a little pained. "'Lena's been going on about her beloved wedding planner until I'm sick to death of hearing about him," he filled in for me. "So I agreed to come see for myself if he was as stunning as she says."

I'd almost forgotten Milliardo was gay. But apparently Relena remembered...right after Duo told her he was.

And then I knew, and I turned a horrified look to Relena. "You are not thinking of fixing them up!"

She smiled serenely back. "Wouldn't they be stunning together?"

"No!" I snapped quickly.

They both looked at me in surprise.

"Can you excuse us a moment, Mill?" I asked, grabbing Relena's arm and pulling her bodily into the study, closing and locking the door behind us. "You don't just go setting up your wedding planner on a blind date without telling him, Relena!"

"Why not?" she demanded, scowling back at me. "Mill would be perfect for Duo."

"No, he wouldn't," I asserted. She forgot that I knew Milliardo's track record. "Your brother goes through lovers like changes of clothing." I reminded her.

Her jaw dropped at the accusation. "How dare you say that?"

"Because it's true! I've lost count of how many boyfriends he's introduced us to." While I couldn't entirely explain what I was feeling, I knew one thing for sure; I didn't want Duo within ten miles of Milliardo.

"So Mill's had a few relationships," Relena sniffed impassively. "He's gorgeous, and so is Duo. They'd be the most dazzling couple ever."

"They have nothing in common." I didn't know where I was pulling this shit from. Frankly, I had no idea what they might or might not have in common, but I didn't want them to find out. I did not want to see Duo Maxwell on Milliardo Peacecraft's arm...ever...or on anyone else's, for that matter.

Relena rolled her eyes. "How would you know? I've spent a lot more time with Duo than you have, and he's gone on and on about passion and romance. Believe me, he's just dying to find someone."

"He's lost two fiancés, Relena. What makes you think he wants a third?"

"Two?" she asked in surprise. "When did he tell you that?"

"For fuck's sake, Relena. You've been throwing us together right and left. We've talked! And Duo won't appreciate being set up like this without being asked first!" God knew I didn't appreciate him being set up like that.

"You're blowing this out of proportion, Heero," she said with a frown. "I'm just going to let Mill come along for the day so they can get to know each other. If they hit it off, great."

"And after Milliardo seduces and dumps him, how kindly disposed do you think your wedding planner will be towards you, his sister?" I pointed out. "The man's been engaged twice, 'Lena. And the only reason he's not married is because his fiancés died. I think it's safe to say he takes his relationships seriously."

"Are you suggesting Milliardo doesn't?"

I didn't even need to say it. My expression conveyed my answer.

"Well, I'm not going to stand here and listen to you insult my brother," sniffed Relena. She turned and pulled open the doors, stalking back out to the foyer. "Walter! Where has my brother gone?"

"He's on the veranda with Mister Maxwell," came the butler's swift, polite reply.

Shit, damn and motherfuck!

TBC...

 

To The Next Chapter

To The Previous Chapter

Back to Snowdragonct's Fanfictions Page

Back to Guests Fanfictions Page

Back to Main Page