Author: PlaidDragon
Pairings: 1+2, Variousx2, 3+4
Warnings: Yaoi, angst, TWT, lime, NCS, somewhat-psycho Duo
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and its original characters do not belong to me.
Perfect Part 1
Heero glared at the disk in his hand as if it were personally responsible for his dark mood.
Damn it! he snarled to himself. Why are they doing this to him?
Duo never passed on a mission, never shied from undercover assignments. Even before they fell to earth, he was a can-do guy.
He's done enough of this! Heero raged silently, stalking down the hallway. Someone else will have to do it this time.
Trowa and Quatre were indulging in Mozart in the parlor. Wufei was reading. Heero stood in the doorway glaring at his partners. All three looked up apprehensively.
"Is something wrong, Heero?" asked Quatre, laying aside his violin.
"Hn. Where's Duo?"
"In the hanger," muttered Wufei, returning to his book. "He's playing poker with the techs."
"Stay here. A mission has come across." He stalked out of the room.
The three pilots looked at each other. Trowa shrugged and raised his flute to his lips again.
Heero stalked back into the house a few minutes later, dragging Duo by his braid.
"Ow! Shit! Dammit, Heero!" he whined. "I was winning! I had three aces!"
"You were dealing from the bottom of a marked deck, baka."
"Aw, Heero..."
"Sit down." He shoved Duo into a chair.
"We have a mission. It involves one of us going undercover for the duration."
"What's the cover?" asked Duo eagerly.
Heero glanced at him. "I'll get to that. Someone is selling information to OZ. We are to locate and remove him."
"How hard is that?" Duo groused. He got yanked out of a poker game for this? "Stake him out and take him out. Simple."
"Not so simple," Heero glared back. "No one is sure who he is, where he is or where he gets his information. We are to identify him, find him and find his source, then clean house."
Duo shrugged. "Like we haven't done this before."
"Do we know anything at all?" asked Trowa quietly.
"What information we do have says he's most likely in San Diego. He likes his whiskey neat and his prostitutes male." He didn't look at Duo, but the sigh was unmistakable.
"Okay," the braided boy drawled, getting to his feet. "The raven flies again."
"Not this time."
"Huh?" Duo stopped, one hand on his hip, as his eyebrows shot up in confusion.
"Someone else will do it."
"Oh, yeah?" he snorted. "Like who?"
Heero looked at the three pairs of eyes that regarded him warily.
Wufei? Not a chance in hell.
Quatre? Trowa laced his fingers with the blond's, his dangerously glittering visible green eye all the answer Heero needed.
Trowa? Blue eyes, same dangerous glitter. Only over Quatre's dead body.
"Like me," Heero growled.
For a few seconds they just stared at him. Then Duo burst out laughing.
"Bwaahahahahahahahaaaa!" He fell back into the chair.
Quatre giggled nervously. Trowa hooked a protective arm around his sweetheart. Heero's glare had acquired a complementary muscle spasm in his cheek.
Wufei stood up. "You've lost your mind, Yuy." He walked out of the room.
Heero glared at Duo. "And why not?" he demanded. "What gives you a lock on being a whore?"
Duo wiped his eyes, still snickering. "Second question: because I do it so well. First question: because you don't. End of debate."
"I don't want you doing it."
"Why not?!"
"Because you're useless for days afterward," he replied tightly.
"Hey, I don't have to be of use. And anyway, nothing has ever come up right after."
"It could, and you couldn't handle it."
Duo frowned up at him. "Heero, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say."
Trowa and Quatre listened silently to their exchange. Then Trowa tugged gently at Quatre's waist and glanced at the door. Quatre sighed and let his lover lead him from the room.
Down the hall in the library, he said, "What's gotten into Heero? I know it's hard on Duo, doing this sort of thing, but he does know what he's doing. None of us could carry it off."
Wufei snorted, not looking up. "Yuy certainly can't. Can you picture him dealing with a difficult trick? 'Omae o korosu.' He'd whip out his automatic and nail the guy." Quatre giggled and Trowa's visible eye almost smiled. Wufei continued, "Sure it isn't 'fair' that Maxwell always does it, but he's the only one who can. And he doesn't seem to mind all that much." He turned a page. "He is the Perfect Slut."
"Duo's not a slut," Quatre protested. "Just because he agrees to this doesn't make him a slut."
"Hn." Wufei dismissed the matter. As soon as Yuy came to his senses, they would get the rest of the details. In the meantime, this Sherlock Holmes character was quite interesting.
~*~
"If you don't think I can, then show me how!" Heero snapped.
"SHOW you how to be a whore?!" Duo threw up his hands. "I can't SHOW you! Either you have it or you don't! I have it; you don't! Heero, why are you making such a big deal out of this? You didn't care before."
Heero opened his mouth, then shut it. How the hell could he answer that? "It's just... It's counter-productive," he muttered. "You've had some rough times on these assignments."
"Hey, I'm a weed, Heero. I'll survive." He stood up to give Heero's shoulder a squeeze, flashing his Cheshire smile. "Just give me good info and backup and it'll be fine. My sex life's been pretty dead lately anyway," he laughed.
Heero stared at him and after a moment Duo's grin faded and he drew back uncertainly.
Ah, shit... Is he gonna smack me again? He's so weird sometimes. Mr. Perfect Soldier, yeah, all the time... He stepped away with a sigh. Why can't this guy like me? What does it take anyway?!
Can't he be serious for one minute?! Doesn't he understand the danger he's in when he's with those guys?! Damn it! What does it take?!
TBC...
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