Blue Forest Banshee Diversions Part 36
ii kibarashi - Pillow Talk
I sighed heavily and relaxed even further into the bed. Heero rumbled softly, a faint question.
"'M fine... Just... winding down." A vibration of contented agreement came back.
I was lying on my stomach, arms spread out, my hair coiled at my side where Heero was playing with the end of my braid. He was curled up next to me, his head a comforting weight on the small of my back.
I'm not sure why, but that spot always seems to ache slightly after a particularly enthusiastic romp in bed. Not enough to really notice, or to bother me, but enough that the weight of his hand or head makes it feel better. Like my annoying little blackouts, it made Heero anxious at first; he really does tend to treat me like spun sugar sometimes. The one time that we carelessly over-did things and I wound up limping and really damn sore, I thought he was going to spontaneously combust from guilt. It was weeks before I could get him to relax and stop second-guessing his every move. He is so very conscious of his strength, even in his human form, and it's good that he is; I've seen him leave fingerprints in steel.
At the moment, though, he was just rumbling contentedly to himself, playing with my hair and idly rubbing my bare shoulders.
"You're glad they're here," he said softly.
"Yeah," I agreed. "It's almost like... like... being home again. Just knowing that he's around, somewhere close by."
"He's family; you've missed that for a very long time."
"I guess so... I don't think I realized how much... For so long, I couldn't even think about it. I don't think I could have survived if I'd been... if I'd allowed myself to think about it."
"Survival is not in doubt now," he chided lightly.
"Yeah... Thanks to Q and to the rest of you." He snorted softly. "Especially you," I conceded with a smirk.
"So pleased to have been of some small help."
I poked him. "Silly dragon." He chuckled and moved to spoon up next to me, pulling me over into his arms.
"Silly Banshee... My silly Banshee."
"Yours and yours alone," I sighed. It took me all of five seconds to realize what I'd said. He didn't react, so maybe he didn't catch it. I think that may be as close as I've ever come to the "L" word; it scared me for a moment, made me want to take it back, lest someone hear and take exception to... to... him.
He only nuzzled at the back of my neck and wrapped me even tighter in his arms. The comforter shook itself out and floated up to cover us; a bit of his magic that he seems to use more often these days.
I still haven't brought up the subject of him being a Wizard, or going to school here, or even the apparently more than a quick roll now and then relationship with Rigel. That in particular, since it happened a long time ago, is really none of my business, though it does cause me some weirdly anxious thoughts. I just can't imagine... or maybe I imagine too much... You do see; it's an oddly tangled thing.
I really should be dealing more with my own family history. It still rises up to smack me that Mika, the person who cast me out, banished me from my Clan, is my grandmother. I certainly never would have guessed that. She never came near me, that I recall, when I was a child; never talked to me or played with me. Never even seemed to notice me. And now I can't help wondering why. Was she that angry at my mother for opposing her? Or did I resemble Danc enough to cause her pain over their estrangement? Did she feel guilty? Was she angry? Did she hate me? Or did I just not matter at all? She had walked away from her own small children easily enough; was she nothing more than a power-hungry bitch, to the exclusion of all else?
Not a particularly pleasant thought, that. It reminded me of that saying about an apple never falling far from the tree. Could my mother have ever been that cold and unfeeling? Could I?
I shivered, and Heero made a questioning sound.
"Just... thinking."
"Well, stop it," he muttered. "You've no control over what that harpy does."
How he knows, I will never fathom, but he always does.
"It just... bugs me."
"I know. She's not worth the effort, baby."
I sighed and hitched myself around to hug him. "I know." I kissed him and tucked my head comfortably against his shoulder. Nope; I have my own Clan now, and a motley and adored bunch they are. To hell with Mika.
OWARI
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