a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x

Blue Forest Banshee Part 102
Good Vamp Hunting

Ctik was awake and waiting for us when we reached the storage room. He looked a lot better than he had the night before; the safe resting place must have done him good.

Heero apologized for being late but Ctik waved it off. "I am something of an 'early riser'," he explained. "I tend to wake before the sun is completely gone."

Heero regarded him with a single raised eyebrow. "I do not remember this of you."

Ctik looked a little embarrassed. "It's probably my one advantage over other vampires; I don't talk about it much."

"You surprise me, Ctik; you are not a total idiot."

"Um... I did make an effort to be more in the moment after our last talk," said the vampire.

"Too bad you didn't make a similar effort towards Miles."

Ctik sighed and stepped out into the corridor. "I assumed... well, I assumed that seeing you deal with Theodore would be all the warning he needed. I was wrong."

Heero just shook his head and we all headed for the stairs.

"Were you able to do anything with Miles?" he asked, almost as an afterthought.

Heero smirked. "The house, I'm afraid, is gone, but I have most of the proceeds from the sale for you. We will get into this in detail after we set up some accounts for you."

"Banks are open at night now?"

"Master Gorgsch from Gringott's is meeting us. Do you need to feed first?"

"I am good for now... Is there a blood bank in town? I really was serious about cutting down..."

I stopped walking and stared at him. "You seriously don't drink blood from people?"

He ducked his head a bit. "Well... not much. And only a little bit from people who volunteer," he said quickly with a sidelong look at Heero.

Heero snorted and herded us along. "I will not deny you your nature, as long as no one gets dead or changed from it."

Ctik laughed out loud. "Oh, Heero! You know I am not powerful enough to change anyone! I haven't the... the... ego for it!" he laughed. "And I am fairly sure that no one has ever died from my bite."

"You're right," said Heero. "I checked. No deaths in your file. Not even from the beginning."

~*~

Master Gorgsch was indeed waiting for us. Ctik and I bowed; Heero inclined his head in greeting. The Goblin ushered us into an office in the otherwise deserted bank. At least, it looked deserted; I thought I could hear some faint noises somewhere in the distance. Maybe the night staff doing whatever they do in the vaults?

The whole business took less than an hour, which surprised me. When Heero and I opened my account last year, it took almost two hours for a single account. I'd had questions...

Apparently, Ctik didn't. He nodded at all the right declarations, signed at all the "x"s and only hesitated when asked for an address. Heero stepped in and suggested the temporary box at the Castle post. The Goblin raised one disapproving eyebrow, and Heero clarified, "Mr Vrostek does not have a permanent address yet; he is in the process of house-hunting." That seemed to please Master Gorgsch; he muttered something about loans, mortgages and financing.

When we were finished, Ctik had in his possession a checkbook, a debit/credit card and a large chunk of local cash.

He offered us dinner in return for a quick tour of the town, so we walked around for a bit, introducing him to the high points of the place and finishing up at a steak house on the highway.

Heero and I eat there occasionally, but it's not our favorite place, so I was curious as to why he picked it. Immediately after ordering, though, he excused himself and disappeared.

"This is very... um... rustic," said Ctik, looking around at the stereotypical "Western" décor.

"For some reason, the whole 'cowboy' thing is popular for steak restaurants," I explained. "Not sure why... Maybe the 'stockyard' concept?"

"Stockyards? They do not actually butcher the animals in the kitchen, do they?" he asked with some concern.

"Not anymore," I grinned. "I'm sure all their meat arrives in a reefer truck."

He looked relieved. "Oh. Good. I'm never quite sure about Human progress," he confessed. "There are times when I still expect to see streetcars or horse-drawn carriages on the streets." He sighed wistfully. "We had a lovely carriage once... A matched four-in-hand to draw it. We even had a driver and a footman."

"Wow." I didn't know how long ago that might have been, but it sounded like something only the wealthy would have.

"That was a long time ago," he said as if reading my thoughts, "When people were gracious and no one hurried. Not that I consider it the 'good old days'; not at all. People died from simple scratches or in childbirth. The diseases ran rampant... Socially... well, we've come a long way from those days, if not yet far enough." He shook his head. "I prefer these modern times, when people are not bought and sold like animals, and my family and friends are likely to be healthy and long-lived." He poked at the ice in his glass of water. "Selfish, I know, but I really don't like to make new friends because the old ones have died."

I hadn't thought about that; it must be hard to remain the same while everyone around you ages and finally dies. "How do you deal with it?" I asked, trying to imagine myself going on and on and losing Heero... Not at all a pleasant thought. I shuddered.

Ctik sighed heavily. "It's not as bad with adults; people I've met socially. It's the children of my own family that distress me most. Watching them through their entire lives... and then standing at their graves. There seems never to be enough time... As for dealing with it... Well, I am not as introspective as some. I do not rant and rave and fling curses at the gods. What is the point? Nothing answers those curses; no earth tremors or lightning bolts come. Human beings are mortal; all things die, eventually. Even I will fade away at some point. It may be in a few years or it may be in a few millennia. Perhaps there is a congregation of the already-dead somewhere waiting for us all; perhaps not. It is wasteful of what time I have to indulge in that sort of speculation." He shrugged and smiled at me. I could barely tell that his canines were a little too long for comfort; I wondered if they magically changed when he was preparing to bite someone. "Last night," he continued apologetically, "I was almost hysterical with relief that Heero agreed to help me; I have managed to calm myself since then. I've never been a very good vampire, but I'm usually not so melodramatic."

Heero returned then, setting a tall glass in front of Ctik. The vamp's eyes lit up like a neon sign, and I caught the metallic scent of blood.

"I hope this will suit you," Heero said blandly.

"Heero! Oh my! Thank you! Yes, indeed; this will suit me perfectly!" He took a tiny sip and sighed happily. "Oh, yes..."

I looked at Heero and he shrugged. "Honor demands that all parties be at their best when discussing business matters," he smirked.

The glass was a dark color, masking the contents, and a stalk of celery garnished the drink. A Bloody Mary, indeed! I poked Heero under the table and grinned at him.

Smugly, he produced a parchment listing of properties for sale and spread it out on the table.

~*~

Nothing suitable for a vampire's crypt was on Heero's list, of course. It couldn't be that easy.

We did come up with some requirements for vampires in general and Ctik added a few specifics. He didn't care for basements; he really wanted a proper crypt. He preferred someplace away from other dwellings, where he wouldn't have to worry about being spied on. Of the dozen or so possibilities on Heero's list, a few were on large lots, and some were in areas that a crypt could be constructed underneath, but none of them made any of us happy.

Ctik was disappointed, but still hopeful when we left him at his resting place. He didn't mind cutting his night short, he said, as we were being kind enough to help him. He really did seem like a good guy. I decided that I would have to watch myself around any other vampires I might encounter and not assume that all vamps were as benign as Ctik.

Heero made a phone call to Q when we got home and gave him a quick over-view of the Ctik affair. I didn't exactly eavesdrop, but I couldn't help hearing Heero's side of the conversation. Q decided that he needed more detail and Heero arranged to send him a written report, and then he and Heero set up a fire meeting for midmorning the next day.

I kind of assumed that they would make the decisions from then on and that would be that. Little did I know.

~*~

Q looked up from the parchment in his hand, as the flames of the communication fire flickered around him. "Excellent work, Heero! I detest these intersection cases, but we seem to be coming across them as everyone becomes more accustomed to each other." He sighed and shook his head. "This is one of those moments when I miss the old times." I guess I looked confused. He smirked at me and said dryly, "In the old days, we would have just hauled Miles out and chopped off his head. Problem solved." He glanced down at the parchment again briefly, while I blinked. "Ah, well. Times change."

Heero rumbled noncommittally.

"What do we do now?" I asked. "Heero had some listings yesterday, but none of them were ideal. Can he stay here until we find a place for him to live?" I asked hopefully.

Q thought for a minute. "I don't want to simply turn him out, but we really cannot have a vampire in the Castle. He has until next Sunday. That means that you have a week to find him a home - permanent or temporary."

"But none of Heero's listings were suitable..."

Q raised one eyebrow. "That is because Heero is not in charge of crypts for dispossessed vampires; you are."

"Me?!" I almost fell off my chair. "Me?!" I squawked again. "But I don't know anything about house-hunting!"

Q smirked at me. "You will learn, Banshee. You will learn. Ctik is your project for the immediate future." The image in the fire began to fade. "Have fun."

"But Q...!" Too late; he was gone and the flames had returned to normal. I turned to my Wyvern. "Heero! What the fuck?!"

"Think of it as your performance evaluation," he grinned.

Great. Just fucking wonderful.

~*~

Monday morning rolled around and I was still kind of stunned that Q had appointed me the Banshee-in-charge-of-finding-homes-for-dispossessed-vampires. (And how the hell many vampires did he expect to be displaced for me to find homes for?!) I wasn't sure whether it was a good thing or a bad thing. I just knew I'd better do a good job. Q had allowed Ctik to stay for another week, but after that, out he would have to go.

I hadn't gotten anywhere on finding him a place, yet; but I've only been in charge of the effort for about a day. Of course, there was nothing in the classifieds or online; I couldn't be that lucky. Besides, how would you list something like that? "House; six bedroom, four bath, country kitchen; suitable for vampire residence." Yeah; right.

At least money was a not a factor. I've gotten better at the monetary stuff, since Heero has been forcing me to think about it. I feel like I'm starting to grasp the magnitude of numbers like "million" and "billion". I still have to relate them to something else, but even that is getting more automatic.

Anyway, I understand that the almost nine million dollars Ctik currently had in Gringott's was equivalent to twenty or so of the really spiffy Human houses in the area. Not like he couldn't afford to buy one of those houses; they just weren't suitable, being all jammed together like the boxes in the cereal aisle.

He also needed someone else around, as caretaker or housekeeper; someone reliable and trustworthy to deal with the day-to-day stuff while he was sleeping. You couldn't exactly advertise for someone to work for a vampire - well, you could, but you'd get a bunch of those weird Goth twinks who would probably drive the poor vamp crazy.

I thought maybe a roommate would be nice, but there's the same problem - finding a roommate without opening up a can of Goths.

With all that stumbling around in my head, I was curled up in my papasan chair in my room playing with yarn and hoping for some subconscious inspiration. Inazuma was sprawled out on the floor, reading. We were keeping each other company, since our significant studs were currently off doing whatever.

It was again pouring down rain; it looked like dusk out, even though it was ten in the morning. The whole office had the day off; magical holiday - I don't remember which one off-hand - and everyone else had taken a long weekend. In spite of that, Heero took off early to meet up with Q wherever he was - something to do with contracts - and Enrique had been summoned by his Clan, so Inazuma was moping about.

Everyone else had been apprised of our - excuse me; my new assignment. Reactions ranged from laughter (Tiffany) to cautious congratulations (Trowa). Wufei asked me - seriously, I think - whether I had lost my mind. Heero growled at him for me. Inazuma just shrugged and asked if I wanted company today.

Zuma showed up at my door about 0900 with his book, a twelve-pack of soda and a pout. It's not unusual; we've done this now and then, just sharing space so that neither of us is alone. He says my room is "cozy" which I think is Elfish code for "messy as hell", but he seems to be okay with it. It's all yarn anyway. Once I learned to knit, the yarn just started accumulating... like magic. Ha-ha.

He blinked at me oddly when I opened the door, and it took me a moment to remember that I'd gotten my hair cut - only two days ago! - and hadn't mentioned it when I talked to him yesterday. He walked around me, looking me up and down thoroughly, before saying, "That looks great. Not so much work now?"

"Not so much work," I agreed with a grin.

"You know, Wufei will fall over when he notices. He worships your hair."

It had not even entered my mind that anyone else would notice - or care - what I did with my hair. Q hadn't said a word, but maybe he hadn't seen it. I don't recall turning my back on him during the fire call. Well. That could make for an interesting morning tomorrow.

I snorted. "I don't think he cares diddly about my hair, just that he isn't the one canoodling with it."

"Oh, that too," he agreed rather wistfully.

It's been explained to me more than once that every male in the office - including Esteban - has some weird fascination with me. I think it's bullshit, but I acknowledge the possibility. After all, I didn't even realize that Wufei and Trowa were hitting on me when I first got here. Clueless, that's me. As long as it amuses my friends, what the hell, y'know.

I'm crocheting today, for a change. Making some roundish pieces from scraps that will eventually turn into a blanket. It took me a while, after Julie, to feel like picking up a hook, but one day it happened almost automatically. I wanted to do something more portable - most of my large knitting pieces are done all in one piece because I don't care much for sewing the pieces together, so they tend to get kind of unwieldy after only a couple of days. Somehow, the sewing for the crocheted pieces doesn't bother me as much. And yeah, I do think of Julie. It's not...well, it's not okay, exactly; she still fucked me over royally, but I guess with time and the blurring of memory, and with knowing what her life was like with that monster, I can kind of understand how she could just... step outside of reality in a really bad way. It doesn't make what she did right, in any way, shape or form, but... This probably sounds totally drama-queeny, but in the grand scheme of life... better me than some poor Human kid, I guess. You know? I don't tell Heero that of course, because he gets all tense and growly even thinking about that time, and then he gets kind of over-protective for a while. Better to just keep it to myself for a while longer.

It occurred to me this morning that I also needed to come up with some more earth for Ctik. All he has is the small bag that he carries with him and that's not near enough for comfort. I read up on vampires last night; there are a lot of books, but they all seem to have different information. They're all written by Humans, though, so that's probably why. I'm beginning to wonder if all the books about all Magical Creatures are written by Humans. That would certainly account for some of the weird ideas out there.

"So..." I began out of the blue. "If I wanted to find the particular spot that Ctik's earth comes from, how would I do that?" Zuma rolled over onto his back and contemplated the ceiling.

"I'm... not really sure. I don't recall ever hearing anything about it. I know vampires can always find their original resting place, but I'm not sure that anyone else can." He sat up and regarded me thoughtfully. "I am still just amazed that you found a friendly vampire. How do you do it?"

I shrugged. "Damned if I know. He just seems like a pretty decent guy. You want to meet him tonight? He's very... I don't know... old world?" I snorted at myself. Of course he's 'old world'; he's from Eastern Europe!

"Oh, sure! I'd love to meet a nice one. The only vampire I've ever met was one who visited the resort when I was young. She was a stone bitch," he muttered. "She patted me on the head like I was some domestic pet."

"Well, that was rude!"

"I don't think she was a very old vamp. She kind of had that play-acting air about her." He sat up, resting his chin on his fist. "I'm sure Q would know how to find earth. Heero might know, as well. He's tracked a few of the revenant vamps."

I'd forgotten that. Was that why he was so smirky about me handling this? I was getting vampire experience without the danger? I hope he wasn't thinking that, because there might have to be some words exchanged.

"Oh yeah. You don't suppose this is some kiddy lesson in vampire herding, do you? To get me the vampire merit badge without any effort? Because if he's being all over-protective again..."

Inazuma blinked at me. "You know, sometimes you make even less sense than the Humans." I stuck my tongue out at him. "Ah, Duo! You are the most do-it-yourself creature I've ever met!" He sprawled back against the loveseat. "You are so determined to be competent all on your own!"

"Shouldn't I be? Don't you get annoyed when the others follow you around like you're made of spun sugar?" He blinked at me. Again.

"Um... At the risk of a volcanic event... they've never micromanaged me the way they do you."

"WHAT?!" And here I was, cutting the rest of the office a break because I was still "the new kid". So they were treating me differently! Fucking hell! I went from thoughtfully annoyed to furious in a microsecond.

"Sap damn it! I knew there was more to this!" I bounced out of my chair, yarn and hooks going everywhere, and began to pace. "I'm not helpless!" I raged. "I don't need a damn babysitter or 'special' situations designed just for me, dammit!"

I said a lot more than that, but memory fails me. I just know I came up for air and a breath of sanity when I realized that Zuma was cautiously waving a white flag and looking like he might be porting out of the "Banshee zone" at any moment.

"What?" I grumbled. Certainly wasn't his fault that everyone was over-pampering me.

"Um... Not to change the subject... since I really did think that you'd already realized how careful they are of you... but someone is at your door."

I blinked at him. Then I heard the tentative 'tap-tap-tap'ing on my hall door. Oh, fucking double-dandy; someone outside with a front row seat to my latest meltdown. Fantastic. I arranged my expression into something marginally pleasant, and opened the door.

"Hi Duo. My minder had to check in, but it's boring waiting for her, so I thought I'd come and say hello."

Farquahar.

Behind me, Zuma hissed, "Demon!" and welded himself to my elbow in full Elfish protective mode.

Ah shit...

~*~

"How dare you come here!" Inazuma spat. Farquahar backed up a pace and hunched in on himself, wringing his paws together.

"Wait a minute..." I began, but Inazuma wasn't listening.

"You tried to kill us!"

"But that wasn't my fault! Wizard Q said it was a spell! Everyone knows I'm not a good demon!"

"Zuma..."

"You may have the Humans fooled but not me!"

"I don't -"

"Vile creature!"

"Dammit! Stop that!" Holy weasel snot. Will no one let me deal with my own demons?! "Inazuma! What the fuck?! Did Heero give you instructions again?!" I swiveled around and grabbed his arm, shoving him back across the room and down onto the loveseat. "Stand the hell down!" I ordered, glaring down at him. He stared back, wide-eyed. I guess he isn't as used to my tantrums as he thought he was. I snorted derisively and went back to the door.

Farquahar had managed to turn himself into a large, lumpy, stinky ball in my hallway. I sighed. Not exactly the visitor I would have chosen, but what the hell. Not like I was being terribly productive anyway. We needed to do something about the smell though. I didn't want that in my room.

"Sorry, Farq. Inazuma still has some issues with you shooting Wufei. It was pretty rude, even with the spell."

"I know," he mumbled from somewhere in the lump. "I just wanted to come see you, because you were kind to me..."

Fuck. "Yeah, I know. I guess I just have a soft spot for the weak and gormless. Um... Can you change to your... um... human form? The smell..."

"I'm not supposed to when I'm here. Mistress Witch will be pissed."

"I'll tell her I asked you to. If she has a problem, she can take it to Q."

He uncurled and beamed at me like a happy rat. "You are a wonderful Creature!"

"Sure I am," I muttered. He did his change thing, though, and within a few seconds I had the Were-Tiger's scruffy neighbor before me. Something seemed a little different this time.

"Farquahar, have you... um... had some work done?"

He blinked at me with Human brown eyes. "Huh?"

"You look... different somehow."

He brightened and flashed a full grin. "Were-Tiger Ovalia said she was okay with me, now that the spell was gone. It was her idea for me to... to... tidy up a little," he said proudly.

Ah. Female wiles, maybe? Who knew demons could be swayed that way? It did make a difference; his teeth were whiter and more even, his face was a bit leaner, his eyebrows not so tangled. He was also a bit taller and broader across the shoulders. The clothes were the same scruffy jeans and a blue plaid flannel shirt and a pair of run-down cowboy boots, though. The make-over had not extended to his wardrobe.

Nothing really obvious had changed. I imagined that any of the locals he dealt with would probably just assume a haircut or dental visit; nothing weird or magical about that. He did look... well... better. More Humanly attractive. I wondered fleetingly if he was a bit sweet on Ovalia. Or even his minder.

I ushered him in and set about gathering up my yarn and hooks from the meltdown. Inazuma was sulking in the corner of the loveseat, arms and legs both defensively crossed. He glared at the demon suspiciously even as he folded to sit on the floor next to my chair.

I sighed and resigned myself to being a peacemaker.

"I can see we need some ground rules," I began, and Zuma switched to glaring at me. I ignored it. "First thing is, Farq is welcome, as long as he behaves himself. Q made sure you can't be ensorcelled the way you were before, so I expect you will behave in a properly civilized fashion; yes?" Farquahar nodded eagerly. "Good. You need to call before you show up next time. I'll give you my number. Heero is still kind of cranky and if you just drop in, he might drop you out." He ducked his head apologetically. Dealing with Farq was almost like a game of charades.

Then I turned to Inazuma. "Zuma, I adore you, but you're going to make me crazy if you start being as protective as Heero." He lifted one shoulder, blushing.

"Sorry, Duo. It's just... after everything else that's happened this year..."

"Yeah, yeah; I know. I'm a bad luck magnet. But you do understand that I can take care of myself, right? I get the whole 'protective nature' thing and it's cool up to a point. But the Farquahar thing is done; Wufei's fine and you were quick to take cover. And the cops were on top of it immediately." Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that Farq twitched and rubbed at his chest. I never even thought that maybe being shot had actually hurt him. Did demons notice bullets?

Zuma sighed heavily. "I know; I know... It's just... well, it was scary." He looked up at me. "I've never seen anyone gets shot before. It's really... messy... All that blood..."

"I'm really sorry," said Farq softly, and we both looked at him. "I don't even remember when I started acting so weird. I've never hurt anyone before. I'm not that kind of demon. I just want to get along and not bother anyone." He looked at Zuma. "I understand why you're still mad; I really am sorry I scared you and shot Lord Dragon Wufei. I've never killed anything but the bugs that eat my garden. I even buy meat at the grocery store." He looked almost... tearful. I glanced at Zuma. His expression was just... priceless.

"Oh, crap..." he muttered, and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Dammit Duo! Why didn't you warn me?!"

"Warn you? About what?"

"Demon puppy eyes!" He covered his face. "Dammit, you know I have no defense against the puppy eyes!"

Really? Elves can't fight puppy eyes? Demons do puppy eyes?! I took a look at Farq's face and sure enough; puppy eyes. Sorrowful, watery, big brown puppy eyes. Nuclear puppy eyes. They weren't affecting me, though.

I snickered and grinned at Inazuma. "Okay, seriously; how can you stay angry with that?"

The Elf glared at me, at Farquahar and at my ceiling. "Dammit Banshee," he muttered again. He pointed a finger at Farquahar. "We are not friends; I am still pissed. But since you are Duo's... friend, I will be tolerant and polite. And watchful," he said darkly.

"That you, Master Elf! I will try to be worthy," returned the demon eagerly.

Yay. Crisis averted. Damn, I should be a fucking diplomat. Not.

We did manage to keep it light and neutral for an hour. I asked about Farquahar's animals and that got us through the better part of it. I mentioned yarn when Farq said he had two sheep and a goat, and he immediately promised to save some of the wool for me. Now all I need is someone to wash, card and spin it for me. Maybe Teal's Were friends would be willing.

Inazuma had actually laughed at several of Farq's stories by the time the brazier in the corner flared, so it looked like there would be no demonicide today. Tomorrow? Who knows?

The probation adjutant was in the fire. "Hi, Ms Cranky Badger. What can I do for you?" Don't laugh; that's her real name. She said her parents had a premonition about her chosen career.

"Hello, Duo. I am looking for one of our charges, the demon known as 'F'. I understand he might be with you." Huh. So Farq was "F" to them. Fine with me.

"He's here; do you need him back?"

"Yes, Wildomar is ready to return. Would you mind sending the demon back, please? If you're finished with him, that is."

"No problem," I said easily. "Do you mind if he travels in his human disguise? I asked him to change when he got here, because, you know, he kind of smells otherwise." I winked at Farq.

Cranky Badger laughed. "Not at all! I would actually prefer it." She rolled her eyes. "Wildomar is the one who insists on him being 'natural'."

That was interesting. "Well, how about telling Wildomar that I would like demon 'F' to be in disguise whenever he visits the Castle from now on." I'm not sure how much authority I have with other departments, but I know that whenever Heero growls at them, they jump smartly.

Cranky Badger hesitated for only an instant. "Oh, absolutely, sir! I'll make a note in his file that the MIO requires him to do so." She smirked at me. I filed that away. Apparently, Cranky Badger was not a fan of Wildomar.

And come to think of it, that name sounded awfully familiar. I'd have to look her up and see if we'd ever worked together. In the meantime...

I tinked the brazier to cut the connection.

"Demon, they need you back at probation," I informed him and he got to his feet, dusting off his butt. "And stay in that form. From now on, when you come to the Castle, I want you in that disguise. You stink up the place otherwise." I grinned at his startlement as I walked him to the door. "I'll confirm that with Q, but no more au natural stench, okay? And Farq? Go shopping with Ovalia; get yourself some decent clothes. Buy her lunch someplace really nice as a thank you. Bye now."

I shut the door on him and turned back to meet Inazuma's quizzical gaze.

"What was all that?" he demanded.

"Just flexing my power," I laughed. "I didn't know I could dictate to other departments."

"Technically, we can over-rule almost everyone," he shrugged. "I know Tiffany and Wufei do stuff like that every so often. Heero just Looks at people and they do whatever he wants. You really want the demon walking around hidden?"

"I want him walking around scentless! Besides, I don't believe he's dangerous and there's no point to him being forced to walk around looking like some prehistoric rat." I flopped down in my chair again. "C'mon, Zuma... He's a not-very-good demon, he stinks, and he was ensorcelled and almost managed to kill someone. He's already related to Zephyrus. Isn't that enough? He's a dweeb; why be any meaner to him?"

He blinked at me. "Well, that's true. It is sort of a punishment just being related to Zephyrus." He sighed again and ran a hand through his blond hair. "Okay, you're right. He seems to be harmless. I know he couldn't put anything over on Q and Heero. Or the Mad Five, for that matter. I just..." He looked up at the ceiling. "I still have nightmares..." He shrugged and forced a smile. "It just scared the crap out of me... Wufei bleeding and then both of you vanishing. It was a few minutes before Enrique and Trowa got there. The cop was almost hysterical... I just never, ever want to do that again. Magic, I can deal with, but Human violence is just so..." He lifted his hands helplessly.

I couldn't remember if I had ever apologized for leaving him.

"Zuma..." I sat next to him and hugged him and he hugged back for a few seconds. "I'm sorry..."

"You didn't have a choice, Duo; don't apologize for saving Wufei's life. I know you weren't running out on me; Wufei needed you more."

"I still feel bad... I don't even know what caused me to port, and to the right place, too." I let go of him and rested my head against the back of the loveseat. "All that blood... It was so sudden. Not at all like on TV."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I think that's what freaked me out. I don't have much experience with death yet... Not that I'm hoping for more," he finished hastily, and I snickered.

It made me think of my father and the whole "son of death" notion. Wonderful. That started me on a track I didn't care to follow right now, so I switched back to our primary purpose.

"So, back to Ctik?" I suggested instead.

"Right. Do you have a list yet?"

"Um... no. I don't think I'd gotten that far." I pulled up a pad of paper and a pen. "Let's see... He has accounts now, and access to money, so I suppose I should put those down, just to be able to cross them off."

Inazuma snickered. "And it makes you feel like you've already made progress."

Why, so it did. Excellent.

"Okay, help me out here. What else does he need besides a home and earth?" I added both of those to my list.

"A caretaker or such to look after things during the day." Of course. I added that. "Does he have a cell phone yet?"

"No. That's good; he should have one."

"Do vampires need transportation? I know they aren't usually shape-shifters, but do they fly?"

"Huh. No idea. I will ask him." Another notation.

The Elf drummed his fingers on the arm of the loveseat. "What about furnishings for whatever home you find?"

"He has about 20 rooms worth back in New York."

"Okay, so he won't need to go shopping... What about arranging for the removal and storage? That could save time."

"You're right. See, I never would have thought of that until I was standing in an empty house," I snickered.

"Can you talk to someone back there? I mean, are they on good terms?"

"I know his descendant's wife is fond of Ctik; she was really upset when she found out what Miles had done. She did say if there was anything he needed, to let her know..."

"Maybe you could call her for him? See how she feels about the furnishings?"

I picked up my phone; it was early afternoon in that time zone; Gisela might be at work, but maybe Michael would be home. I dialed, and after three rings, the phone was answered by Gisela.

"Hello, Gisela. This is Duo."

"Hello! How are you? And how is Ctik?"

"He's still in transition, but we're working on finding him a permanent residence. That's why I called. Ctik will need some furnishings once he has a place; do you mind him taking some things from the house?"

"Oh, my god, of course not! It's his house! Most of the contents predate even Vivian's time. And most of it is on a huge scale; there's no way I could move it into a modern house or apartment."

"Wonderful. Gisela, I've been placed in charge of getting Ctik settled, so I'm going to assume some authority; if you disagree, feel free to consult with Ctik. I can have him call you tonight."

"Duo, I know you folks have only the best intentions toward Ctik, so I will trust whatever you suggest."

I almost wanted to kiss her. Why couldn't more Humans be so easy to deal with?

"You are too kind," I demurred politely, and then jumped right in. "I would like to pack and ship Ctik's goods now, so that he doesn't have to wait when we find a place for him; would that be all right with you?"

"Certainly! Not that it matters, but it would take a huge weight off my shoulders right now, to know that it was taken care of. Ctik had a large suite on the upper floors; I know he'll want everything from those rooms, and there are some pieces in the rest of the house that are family heirlooms that he should have..." She trailed off thoughtfully. "You know, Duo; this house has over 30 rooms. It really is a damn mansion. Aside from the suite and the things I know he loves, I'm not sure what else he might want. I do know it'll take more than one truck to move it all. Maybe several." I heard a click and fancied that Gisela was making her own list.

"Are movers expensive?" I muttered half to myself.

"They sure can be," she replied.

Inazuma sat up and waved a hand at me. I covered the phone. "What?"

"Trowa's Clan do house-moving," he said excitedly. "That's the Clan business; remember?"

Well, duh. I'd gotten that whole tour on my first visit, including some up-close-and-personal looks at those monstrous trucks. I rolled my eyes at myself. "Call them for me?"

He grinned and produced his cell phone.

"Gisela, one of my colleagues in the office is from a Clan that has a house-moving business; we're calling them right now to see if they could do the job." I could almost hear her smile.

"If they're good, do you think I could hire them? I am so tired of dealing with sharks."

"I don't see why not; Trowa says they do a lot of non-Magical work."

Across the room Inazuma was in an animated conversation punctuated with smiling and laughing, so that seemed a good sign. He looked at me and made a 'thumbs-up' sign.

"Would it be all right for me to give them your contact number? That way you can explain what the job is and work out the deal."

"That would be excellent!"

Zuma sent a piece of paper fluttering my way with the formal name of the Clan business and their phone number, as well as a website. I read it off to Gisela and sent the paper back to Zuma with Gisela's name and number and general location. I got another thumbs-up.

"Okay, Gisela; they'll be contacting you shortly. Thanks so much for helping me with this. I know it will ease Ctik's mind as well. Oh, I'm going to see to getting him a cell phone tonight or tomorrow, so he can call you himself."

"I hope he will," she said hesitantly. "The kids miss him and Michael is especially concerned."

"Well, as far as I can see, Ctik is not mad at any of you; just Miles."

"And well he should be," she snorted. "Thank you, Duo. I'll call you back as soon as I have the arrangements made. Oh. Where am I shipping Ctik's stuff to?"

"Oops. The movers also do storage, so if they would store it for a bit, that will be fine."

"Okay. Good. Thanks for being there for Ctik; he's a good guy."

We hung up and I let out a Banshee shriek. "All right! Another accomplishment!" I grabbed Inazuma and whirled him around the room. "Yay!"

He laughed and we twirled about for a minute. "That's not so hard, is it?"

"I need to have you helping me!"

"I already am."

"I mean officially!" I stopped suddenly and Zuma almost ran into me. "Oh. Wait. If this is some kind of review, that might not be allowed," I said in dismay. "I don't want to cheat."

"I can't imagine Q being that literal," he said thoughtfully. "I had to do a project a couple of years ago, for my proficiency, and I was questioning everybody in sight. No one seemed to mind," he offered hopefully.

That sounded logical. Surely Q didn't expect me to know everything; he did say that I "would learn". Then again, he was a Wizard and they were known to be devious...

Well, dammit. I would just have to ask when he returned. In the meantime, I'd add to my list.

I returned to crocheting and Inazuma returned to his book. We tossed ideas back and forth as they occurred to us for another hour or so and then walked over to the dining hall for lunch.

~*~

On the basis of Inazuma's assurance that Q wouldn't mind, I buttonholed a few people in the dining room to ask questions about house-hunting and moving. Most of them offered suggestions that I already had, but one Witch reminded me about utilities. Sad to say, even after all my years with Humans, I'd completely forgotten about that. She probably thought I was a crazy person the way I reacted. We won't go into that, since it was just a tiny bit theatrical. I added "UTILITIES!!!" to my list. Then I thought to ask "what utilities?" but she had already escaped. During that exchange Inazuma, my partner in vamp house hunting, was surely hurting himself trying to stifle his laughter. He had his head down on the table, burying his face in a napkin. I swatted him with another rolled-up napkin.

"Asshole. What do you know about utilities?" I demanded.

He sat up, still snickering and shaking his hair back into place - did I mention that his blond hair was streaked and tipped with purple today? - and poked me back. "I know that we don't deal with them," he grinned. "The Castle is run on magic; the only thing I know about utilities is that Wufei is forever bitching about their electric bill."

I blinked. "He is? Why have I never noticed this?"

"Oh, I think he keeps it to himself when Heero's around. He was bitching about the cable bill once and Heero sort of... flambéed him. Before your time," he explained. "During a terrible round of storms. Trowa likes to watch the pay channels when it's raining."

"Oh."

"Heero said that if he didn't shut up about it, he would order them back into Castle quarters."

"Ah." I know that Wufei doesn't like the idea of living in quarters, but I don't think I want to know why. "Okay. I get it." I returned to my list.

"So, what should I have besides cable and electric?"

"Um... Gas? I think that's what they use for cooking and heat." He ticked off on his fingers. "Cable, electric, gas... I think there's something else... Water?"

"I'll ask Trowa tomorrow." I made a note to ask Trowa and another one not to ask Wufei. I don't have time this week to stuff all those worms back in their can.

My phone rang then. Heero, I noted on the ID.

"Hi lizard," I grinned in greeting.

"Hello angel. I miss you." Uh-oh. An "I miss you" right off the bat usually means he's about to tell me something I won't like. I sighed and decided to cut the crap.

"Okay, what's up that you think will piss me off?"

"I don't know why," he rumbled, "but I always forget how well you understand me."

I snickered; he was stalling. "Come on; out with it. Spill it, let me pout and get it over with."

"All right." I could hear the smile. "I will not be home tonight."

"Okay. Is that it? That's not so bad. I don't need to sleep," I teased. "So what's up?"

Inazuma reached over and snagged my glass and gestured toward the soda machines. I nodded; he's great about giving me privacy when Heero calls.

Heero sighed gustily. "Just another 'Human' tradition, apparently. The person we're dealing with is insisting on throwing an elaborate banquet for us. The idiot won't agree to sign anything until tomorrow."

"Even when you growled at him? Or her."

"I didn't get a chance to. I am here as Q's body-guard; we have had some... difficulty with this particular group before."

That made me sit up straight. "Is it dangerous? Should you have backup?"

"I am the backup, Banshee," he snorted. "Remember?"

Oh. Right. Q = Master Wizard. Duh.

"Sorry. So you'll be home tomorrow?"

"That is the plan, yes. You know how these things go, though."

Unfortunately, I did. I sighed. "How's the port lag?" I asked instead.

"As usual," he grumbled. "I do miss you. I have things I want to do and say..." His voice dropped to a purr. Oh yeah; I knew that voice.

"You wanna tell me now?" I whispered back seductively.

"I would love to... Where are you?"

"In the middle of the dining hall with Inazuma."

"Well, crap," he growled. "So much for phone sex then."

I laughed. "You can call me tonight. I guarantee I'll be naked after 2200."

"Good. I shall ravish you then. I love you."

"Okay, big guy. Kick some of that recalcitrant Human ass. Kiss-kiss." I closed the phone and waved at Zuma. He was beginning to get some looks, hanging about the machines as he was.

He hurried over and handed over my refilled soda.

"Teal's here!" Zuma cried. "In line."

"Really?" I swiveled around to look and Teal was indeed in the serving line with Dael in her spiffy, grandmother-provided stroller. I waited until he'd collected his tray and turned to the room to wave. He grinned and they headed our way.

"Hi Duo," he smiled, setting his tray down. He hugged me and I hugged back.

"Hey! I didn't expect to see you today."

"I thought it would be nice to spend the holiday at home for once. I see you've been busy," he said archly, pointing at my hair.

I laughed. "Yeah, I finally convinced myself it was time. Heero took me to a salon in town and I didn't even try to run away."

"Good. You look great; I'll bet you feel lighter, too."

"Sure do."

"What did you do with the cuttings?"

"Do you need to ask?"

"Ah. Right. Your dragon has them," he smirked.

"Yep."

"Hi, Zuma; how you doing?"

"Great, Teal. It's nice to see you again."

"So where are the SigOs today?"

"Heero's off body-guarding Q and Enrique is visiting his Clan."

"Body-guarding? What's Wizard Q doing that he needs a body-guard?"

"Trying to get some group of Humans to renew a contract. I guess this bunch is being difficult. They expected to be back tonight, but the Humans insist on making a big deal out of it, so it'll probably be tomorrow."

He shrugged. "You know how Humans can get sometimes. Where are they, do you know?"

"Not specifically; someplace in continental Africa."

"Ah. Lots of upheaval there at the moment." He took a sip of his coffee and made a face. "Why don't they just invite Starbucks to put in a kiosk? This stuff is horrible."

I ignored the coffee comment. "Upheaval? What upheaval? Where?" I know I've been distracted, but I usually try to touch base with the Human news once a week.

"You know; the usual political, religious, tribal in-fighting. The only thing now is that they've managed to drag in everyone who used to be disinterested bystanders." He paused to offer Dael a carrot stick; Zuma and I exchanged glances. Factions are always going at each other in the Human world; why would this be different?

Teal waved a forkful of his casserole at us. "Back in the old times, their fighting was small-scale and usually local, but now they have bigger, better, more long-range weapons. Like Europe, once they figured out explosives. They'll grow out of it eventually, but for the moment, it's not exactly Disneyland. But this is Q and Heero; they won't have any problems." He chewed thoughtfully. "Unless they don't like monkey brains..."

I wasn't even going to ask. I made a note to check the international news when I got back to my room. Instead, I changed the subject.

"What are you up to today? Surely not out in the rain?"

Teal snickered. "We took a port from the house. I didn't feel like cooking and Boss Witch is visiting her grandchildren. Anyway, I have a perfectly good umbrella for myself and the stroller has one built in. You don't think the proud grandma would forget that, do you?" he grinned.

The first thing that popped into my head was "Mika would." I didn't say it, of course. I doubt she cares one whit about either of her grandchildren; at least Dael has another grandmother who does.

Talk about depressing thoughts today! I really needed to lighten up. Zuma helped by asking where Teal was working this week.

He had to bring up a calendar to reply. "Tomorrow is three hours in procurement; two hours Wednesday in crafts; three hours Thursday in payroll and two hours Friday in probation. And next week I have two days at the school because someone thought it would be amusing to put a charm on all the fifth years' term papers and most of them are still hiding somewhere." He smirked at me. "I'll be 'supervising' the perpetrators in their hunt for them."

"Well, that sounds like fun. Do you get to use a cattle prod on them?" I asked.

"Or at least a switch?" added Inazuma hopefully.

Teal laughed; he'd heard all about my appearance before the obnoxious class and knew I wasn't exactly fond of the little darlings.

"No, I just plan to make a great show of sharpening my knives while they work. I'm also going to wear some extreme Banshee drag. I have permission to scare the crap out of them and then make them clean it up."

"Take pictures?" I suggested hopefully. "Maybe that'll stop the next bunch of smartasses."

"Or at least slow them down," said Inazuma wistfully.

The end of the school year is always a problematic time. The seventh years seem to think they need to do something memorable, to be remembered, and no matter how dire the threats, they always manage some kind of magical practical jokes. Our tower gets a magical lockdown for that week. Anyone coming in has to pass through the detectors. We do have a ringside seat for whatever mayhem is going on in the quad or on the commons. It's funny sometimes, but probably only because we aren't involved.

"I was talking with Wizard Malthius in HR last week," Teal said idly. "He offered me full-time part-time work here. Seems the departments like the idea of a floating admin to help out." He flashed a rather smug grin. "He was lamenting the quality of some of their interns and new hires."

I blinked at him. "So... You might be here permanently?" Family! screamed the little kid voice in my head. Suddenly, I could hardly breathe.

"I'm... thinking about it. I told him I'd want time to visit Merry Brook, but he said that was fine. He even suggested I could live at Merry Brook and commute, but that's a little too far; too many time zones to deal with."

Dael began babbling and pointing at the windows; one of the Castle cats was meandering through the landscaping, the raindrops curving gently around her, leaving her fur smooth and dry. Dael loves all the cats and they seem to enjoy her.

"That would be great!" I exclaimed. I don't bring it up much, but I dread Teal going back to his mother's Clan. I fear that one day he'll just decide to stay there.

Then... something happened in my brain. Like an explosion of ideas, a divine revelation, a whole warehouse of light bulbs going off. I tried to rein in my sudden excitement; no point telegraphing my intentions.

"Would you stay at the boarding house or maybe find your own place? You did tell me once that you had some stuff in storage...?" I began tentatively.

"Mmm... I'd probably find a place eventually. No real hurry until Dael's ready for school."

"Would you do it sooner if something opened up? Something really desirable?"

He blinked at me. "Well, sure; if it was a good deal, I'd try to arrange it. I'm good with Gringott's, so I could probably get a mortgage."

"What if you didn't need a mortgage? What if it was a deal where you keep an eye on a house for the owner; an on-site estate manager? Just handle the everyday stuff; bills, maintenance, upkeep?"

He stared at me. "That sounds a little too good to be true."

"It's not! I know someone who needs a live-in manager; live on-site, take care of stuff, run of the house. You probably wouldn't even see him very often," I wheedled. Fuck; I couldn't keep the excitement out of my voice. Pleaseletthiswork, pleaseletthiswork!

He eyed me warily. Zuma was wide-eyed and being absolute silent.

"What's the catch?" Teal growled. "I know there is one."

"No catch! Well, I don't exactly know where it would be located, yet... But it would be within commuting distance! You could still work here!" I tried the Banshee eyes, batting my lashes. He snorted.

"Out with it, you little sneak. What's the catch?"

"Really, there isn't one! The home owner - or will-be home owner - is a nice guy; very Old World, keeps to himself mostly. Plenty of money, refined tastes, but also not a busybody." Okay, I was projecting from what little I knew about Ctik's life with his family, but dammit, this would be perfect! A caretaker for the vamp and a home close to me for Teal and Dael; I couldn't make it more perfect.

Teal was still regarding me suspiciously, though. "Duo," he said firmly. "I'm not going to go off to Merry Brook and leave you. Anytime we visit, we'll be back; regardless of whether I'm working at the Castle or not. You don't have to make up situations to keep me here."

"I'm not! I really am looking for an estate manager and I think you'd be perfect. It's not even really a job; it's just making sure that the place is kept up. You're organized; you could probably run the place in your sleep." Bloody blast! Why is this Banshee so damn stubborn?!

He had narrowed his eyes at me, giving me the look I well-remembered from my childhood; the look that said he knew I was up to something and I didn't need to think I was fooling him. Suddenly his eyes widened. "Oh shit! I know what this is! It's for that vampire that followed you home, isn't it! You want me to be the vampire's housekeeper! No! Wait; not just 'no', but 'hell no!'"

"But he's a really sweet guy! He's not like a regular vampire! He doesn't kill people or have an evil laugh. I swear!"

"NO! I am not going anywhere near a vampire! They're fucking dangerous, and I can't believe Q even allowed this one to stay here! Much less that you're trying to talk your own blood kin into living in the same house with one! I have Dael to think about! No way would I take her anywhere near a vamp!" He glared at Inazuma. "Are you in on this with him?" he demanded crossly.

Zuma shrugged uncomfortably. "Well... Ctik can't be that bad, if Heero lets Duo deal with him alone," he offered hopefully.

"Then Heero's an idiot and I need to have a few words with him," Teal growled.

I opened my mouth, caught the dialed-up Look Teal gave me, and threw in the towel. Arguing wouldn't do me any good; Teal's as mule-headed as I am. Maybe if I let it drop now, I could do some more subtle hinting later. I had six more days, after all.

I sighed in surrender and picked up a French fry.

We stayed on the safe subjects for another twenty minutes and then Inazuma and I wandered back to my room. Teal was on his way to the mall for some window-shopping.

Crap.

~*~

Inazuma went into cheer-up-Duo mode back in my room. He found an animated DVD in his other-space, so we watched that. It was fun, in a Human-inspired magical sort of way. During the film, I discovered that Inazuma reads and speaks Japanese.

"Why did I not know this before?" I demanded when he translated the subtitles into something totally alien from what the English voices were saying.

He looked startled. "Um... I thought you did know. My Clan goes back to Japan; they migrated to Hawaii before the European Humans discovered the islands. Matriarch demands that we all keep up with the old language."

I stared at him. "So, you understand Heero when he's muttering in Japanese?"

"Well... Kind of. He doesn't really speak Japanese; it's kind of a mixture of Japanese, Chinese and... maybe Latin? Something European. I can catch single words and sometimes a phrase or saying, but not to converse with him." He shuddered. "I wouldn't dare; I don't think he knows that I even understand that much."

Well, damn.

"You know, I'm going to make a list and start asking questions, just to see what all I don't know," I grumbled. He patted my arm.

"It's not that special, really. I don't understand Wufei at all, but Heero seems to."

Heero understands everyone; I consider that to be another of those dragon things.

I bumped my shoulder against his. "I'm just looking for a reason to be grumpy; sorry."

"Maybe if you arranged for Teal to actually meet Ctik? He might be willing to consider it then."

"More likely he'd rip my ears off for trying," I muttered sourly. Such a perfect, ideal solution crashing and burning in front of my eyes. Crud.

My phone rang then and I checked the ID, even though I knew it wouldn't be Heero. Gisela, it was. I dragged out my cheerful side.

"Hello Gisela. Good news?" I asked hopefully. Even though I have no place for Ctik's stuff yet, it would be good to at least have his stuff somewhere convenient.

"Hi Duo! Thank you so much for putting me in touch with the Pumas! They are just wonderful! They're going to send a team out tomorrow to estimate what's needed to move Ctik's things and they are also giving me a fabulous deal on our move."

"That's great! Oh! I just thought of something... Heero said that the house originally had gargoyles installed in Europe, but that Ctik didn't install them when he rebuilt it here. He thought they should be in the basement or cellar, maybe? Would you know if they still exist? It doesn't seem right to me that they should go to an amusement park."

"I think I know the things you mean... The house has a basement and then a cellar below that... There are a lot of things stored down there; I'll make a note to have the Pumas check on moving that stuff too. Hm... I haven't been down there in four or five years; I think it's all Ctik's, unless Miles hid something down there. Just a moment."

She covered the phone, but I could still hear her muffled words. "Michael! Have you ever been down in Ctik's storage cellar? Are there gargoyles down there?"

She came back a moment later. "Michael says there were at least a dozen stone gargoyles in the cellar the last time he checked. He says he used to climb on them," she said dryly. "He's going to run down now and look to see if they're still there. Miles being what he is..."

"Unfortunately," I agreed. I wouldn't put it past that scoundrel to have sold the things off to cover his trading debts. I don't know a lot about the Human attraction to old stuff, but I know it exists and there are people willing to pay ridiculous amounts of money for ancient crap.

We chatted for a few minutes about her house-hunting efforts. She said she was considering a condo, since Breeze would be going off to college soon - one way or another, she muttered darkly - and then Michael in a few years. She sounded less than happy with the options available, so I had to ask.

"Oh, it's just that I'm so accustomed to this place; to having such large rooms and so much open space... Everything we looked at yesterday seems so... cramped. And choppy. All these odd little pop-outs and dead spaces. I may end up having to sell most of the furniture or store it. Probably store it; I'll have to divide things with Miles, but I am damn sure getting back the value of those college accounts," she declared grimly.

"And well you should. No way should he get away with stealing from the kids."

"You know," she said with no little pride, "Michael and Breeze have both been online since Saturday looking up information for scholarships and grants, just in case. And they both told me that state university will be just fine for both of them. I didn't think they were leaning toward any of the Ivy League schools, but it's sweet of them to reassure me."

"You've got pretty solid kids, Gisela. Clearly, they take after you more than Miles." I had no idea what an Ivy League was and since it wasn't in the kids' plans, I don't suppose I needed to know.

"Yes, I do. I hope they'll stay that way. Okay, here's Michael; he wants to tell you himself."

Michael came on the line an instant later. "Hey Duo! Have you found Ctik a house yet?"

"Not yet, but we're looking. It's my official project for the duration. So, how are we sitting on those gargoyles?"

"They're all still there! I was thinking that Dad might have snuck a few out, but nope; all present and accounted for. Along with a whole lot of other stone stuff, too. Statues and stuff like that."

"Cool. How big are these things? And how many are there?"

"Um... I didn't take a tape with me, but the gargoyles are all big; bigger than your dragon-guy. Some of them are standing and some are kind of crouched, but even those are huge. Maybe that's why they're still there; Dad couldn't figure how to get them out of the cellar!" He laughed and I laughed too. I could picture Miles skulking around measuring gargoyles and passages and being confounded by the numbers. Serves the fuckwit right. "And there are seventeen gargoyles, as far as I could count. There might be some smaller ones, but the big ones are lined up in the front. Those are the ones I used to play on. Lots better than a rocking horse."

I'll bet. Who wouldn't want to ride a gargoyle?

"Hey Duo? Mom says there are moving guys coming tomorrow; are you going to come, too? Maybe? I can show you around the basement and the cellars," he offered hopefully.

Hm. Heero would be home sometime tomorrow, but this was business and should take precedence. "I just might. I will be seeing Ctik tonight, so I'll see if he would like me to. He is my project," I smirked.

"That'd be cool!"

"Yeah, it would." I'd kind of like to get a look at these gargoyles myself; to see just how much they do look like Wyverns. "Let me talk to your mom again, so I can get the details."

He handed the phone off to his mother and I could hear him yelling in the background, "Duo's coming tomorrow!"

"Sorry," said Gisela wryly. "He's been talking about you all weekend. You made an impression."

"Wow. And I'm just a simple country Banshee," I laughed.

"Oh, you may be a country Banshee, but there's nothing simple about you," she asserted. "I don't imagine much gets past you."

Given a few moments from my recent past, that embarrassed me. I'm not as on top of things sometimes as I like to think I am, but it was kind of her to think so.

"In any case," she continued, "I thank you so much for helping us all. Will you really have time to come tomorrow?"

"I think so. Ctik is my project, so I doubt anyone will object. As I told Michael, I'll be seeing Ctik tonight and will let him know what's going on, so if he has any instructions or requests, I'll bring them with. What time are the Pumas coming?"

"Ten o'clock my time. They said they like to get an early start."

"That'll be perfect for me also." Early enough that I wouldn't expect Heero and Q to be back yet anyway. And if I catch a port early enough, I won't have to face Wufei with my sudden lack of hair until after I've had a Starbucks. Yeah, perfect timing.

We said our goodbyes and hung up. I turned to my friend.

"So... Zuma... You wanna go to New York with me?"

"Can we go to a matinee on Broadway?"

"State, not city."

"Poo. Yeah, sure; if it's okay with Tiffany."

"Cool!" I called the port room and arranged a port for the next morning and then we went back to perusing the magical and online listings of homes for sale. And getting next to nowhere.

You know, if I were looking for a studio apartment, the listings would all be for massive country estates.

~*~

We added a couple of things to my list, but otherwise accomplished nothing of note. Zuma offered to check for that "upheaval" that Teal mentioned, but he didn't find anything in particular. Several small pieces mentioned "witch-hunting" and a really bizarre story talked about albino Humans being killed for some disgusting fake magic rituals, but nothing to suggest that my Dragon or my boss would be in any danger.

I went back to my yarn, hoping for some subconscious inspiration and Inazuma returned to his book. He was reading something from a Human philosopher; he says he loves comedy.

Coming up on late afternoon, a soft 'ping' announced an arrival and Enrique appeared in the entryway. Inazuma bounced over and engaged in a really disgusting display of affection with him. Well, disgusting to me, because my personal affection-displayer wasn't around. A tip for everyone: no one wants to see you sucking face with your SO when they don't have a SO handy to also suck face with.

I heaved a noisy sigh and drummed my fingers on the rattan until they came up for air. Enrique gave me a smug grin.

"Have you found a home for the vampire?" he asked.

"Not even close," I sighed.

"Duo had a great idea for a caretaker, though," said Inazuma. "We saw Teal and Dael in the dining hall, and Duo asked if he would think about it."

I snorted. "Yeah. 'Think about', my ass. He said 'hell no!' He said he'd never get near a vampire. Especially not with Dael."

"They are not the most trustworthy of creatures, Duo. Teal is a parent; his first duty is to his offspring."

"But Ctik's a great guy! He's been taking care of his family for hundreds of years! He loves kids!" I cried in frustration.

Enrique clicked his tongue at me. "Now, Duo. You had an idea; it did not work out. You must move on to something else. Perhaps something can be arranged for temporary. You only have until sundown Sunday to remove him from the Castle."

"Don't remind me," I muttered.

"We made a list," offered Inazuma eagerly. "I want to meet Ctik; do you mind?"

"Mind? Of course not. I am not your master, beloved."

"You're both welcome to come with tonight. I want to get him a cellphone and talk about tomorrow. And find him something to... um... eat?"

"I would be very interested to meet your vampire, Duo," said Enrique solemnly. "And I believe the proper term would be 'drink'." I threw a ball of yarn at him and he laughed. "What time?"

"Around 1730, in the storage cellars. I have the key."

"That will be excellent. I need a shower after the humidity at the Clanhold." He glanced at Zuma. "We will meet him there?"

Zuma was getting disgustingly giddy. "Absolutely!"

I rolled my eyes. "Great. Now get out of here before you make me barf."

Enrique waggled his eyebrows at me and they vanished. Dammit, I hate when people cuddle around me when Heero's gone. And I'm sure they hate it when Heero and I cuddle.

~*~

I was a few minutes early in the cellars; it wasn't yet sundown. The Gnome on duty waved me through and I told it that the Elves would be along shortly. It would show them down.

I figured to unlock the door and then just wait for Ctik to wake. I sure wasn't going to walk in on him while he was sleeping. Heero had been very firm about that being a Very Bad Idea with any vampire, regardless of how benign.

Instead, the door opened as soon as I pulled the key from the lock. It startled me and I jumped.

Ctik popped his head around the door. "Good evening, Duo. You're early."

"Um... So are you. I thought you'd still be asleep."

"I'm an early riser, remember?"

"But the sun is still on the horizon..."

"I will be able to step outside as soon as the disc crosses the horizon. I usually wait a bit longer, just for good measure, but I don't need to," he smiled.

Huh. I had assumed early rising to mean once the sun was completely gone, not when it was still above the horizon. Something else to file away.

"That is pretty handy, then, isn't it?"

"Indeed. Most vamps don't rise until full dark. I have about an hour head start on them," he laughed.

"Well, great. My Elven coworkers will be joining us tonight; they're curious about you. And protective of me when Heero is gone." Okay, so I didn't need to say that, but I'm trying to adjust to the fact that there will likely always be someone watching me when Heero can't. It seems to be one of those "dragon things" that I just have to accept. "I have some things to discuss with you tonight, but I can't stay out later than 2100. Heero is away and he's going to call at 2200, so I want to be home for that." I hadn't thought of it before, but I did then. "Ctik, can you secure your resting place while you're in it?"

"Yes, I have some magic for that purpose..."

"Locking the door is more for your protection, so would you mind just securing yourself tonight?"

"Not at all. I promise to be a good boy and I'll be back before dawn," he said sincerely, giving me a really good set of puppy eyes.

I almost laughed, but thought that might be rude. Instead, I bowed him into the corridor and closed the door behind him.

"We can meet Enrique and Inazuma in the portico."

Ctik perked up. "A Spanish Elf?"

"Um... I'm not sure about Spanish... His Clanhold is in South America and I know he speaks both Spanish and Portuguese. Why?"

"I met a Spanish Elf once; she was very gracious," he smiled. "That was before I immigrated, though; many long years ago."

"Enrique is kind of snarky... but not in a mean way."

Ctik gave a happy sigh. "Ah, I enjoy wit in my acquaintances. My own is rather hit and miss, but I do appreciate it in others."

"Oh, Enrique is good at that."

I waved to the Gnome as we left the building; it grinned at us and saluted. I sometimes wonder just what the Castle staff thinks of the rest of the employees; I seem to get an inordinate number of smirks, grins and waves from them. It's a little worrying.

Enrique and Inazuma met us at the gates and I made introductions.

Ctik bowed deeply in that elegant old-world fashion and surprised me by speaking Spanish to Enrique. They chatted for several minutes, both of them using hands and body language. Zuma nudged me and rolled his eyes with a snicker. I got it; it was funny to see a supposedly-evil creature chattering away like a teenager. Cute, even.

Conversation finished, Ctik turned to greet Inazuma with a carefully-pronounced "Konban wa."

Inazuma lit up like a used car lot. "You speak Japanese!"

Ctik waved a deprecating hand. "Ah, no. Only the greeting. I have not spent enough time with those of that culture; only Heero Yuy, really."

I smirked to myself; looked like I didn't have to worry too much about the Elves being overly-suspicious of my vampire anymore.

Oh. Crud. Did I just call him my vampire?!

~*~

I'd had some second thoughts about porting into town; I asked Enrique and Inazuma if they wouldn't mind meeting us at 1900 at the steakhouse.

"That will be fine," said Enrique. "We will do some shopping." Inazuma beamed and I got the strong feeling that something permanent was in the offing. They've been doing the Magical Creature equivalent of dating for a few months.

They vanished with a wave, and Ctik sighed. "I do so wish I could travel that way. So convenient."

"Me too," I agreed wistfully. "I'm working on it, but my porting is just... Weird." I led him toward the archway and through the parking lot. "That reminds me, Ctik; how do vampires travel? I'll assume that Human fiction doesn't necessarily know."

"We have great speed, of course, and great strength as well as enhanced senses; those things are all true. We don't turn into bats or wolves, though," he smiled. "That is creative license. I can levitate, but it isn't the same as true flying; certainly it won't take me anywhere any faster than I could run. We are very good at camouflage, of course. Like lizards," he smirked.

That conjured up all manner of humorous thoughts, but I kept them to myself for now.

"Do you know how to drive?"

"A cart, a pair or a four-in-hand?"

"Um..." I waved my hand at the mostly-empty parking lot. "A car? Automobile."

"Oh. Ah. No... actually I do not have that skill." He gave me an apologetic shrug. "I never saw a point to it... at home."

I opened the passenger door of Heero's car and ushered Ctik in. He looked quite surprised. When I slid under the wheel, he blinked at me.

"Is this yours?"

"Not even!" I laughed. "It belongs to Heero; for when he can't or won't fly. He taught me to drive last year and I'm allowed to use it whenever I like." I started the engine and fastened my seatbelt. "I get a real kick out of it; I can totally understand why Humans get so attached to their cars."

"Mmmm... It smells like cowhide," he said, inhaling deeply. "I could live on this."

"Then I'm happy to oblige. Do you have a cell phone?"

"No. I have never needed one. At home... well," he shook his head slightly. "I am not 'at home' any longer."

Great; now I'd made him unhappy.

"Ctik, I made a list of things we need to talk about. The first thing is to get you a cell phone and the second thing is to ask if you're mad at Gisela and the kids."

"Mad?" He looked confused. "I have no reason to be angry with them; they had no control over Miles.

"That's what I thought, but Gisela is concerned. She's been blaming herself for not seeing through Miles' crap."

"Oh no! She must not do that! I have no animosity toward Gisela or the children! I- I love them!" he cried.

Perfect. "Then we will get you a cell phone and you can tell her than yourself. I don't think she'll believe it from me."

"Indeed I must," he muttered distractedly. "I did not even think about her reaction to all this. She must think I am an ungrateful fool!"

"She doesn't, Ctik; really she doesn't." I hadn't wanted to upset him like this; just clarify the situation. "We'll get you a phone and you can either call her tonight or you can use my phone to call her. I don't know if new phones come with charged batteries..." Damn, there was another of those unplanned-for side tracks.

I patted his knee, gaining his attention. "I'm going to see her tomorrow," I began and he lit up. "I talked to her today, about your stuff at the house."

He looked confused for a moment. "My... 'stuff'?"

"Your furniture; personal things. Gisela said you have a suite in the house...?"

"Oh. Yes, I have - had - a portion of the upper floor as a sitting room... My library..."

I flexed my hands on the steering wheel. "I had the idea - or maybe Inazuma had it; not really sure now - that even if I haven't found a place for you to live yet, that it would probably be good to at least move your possessions into storage, so that we know they're safe in the meantime. Gisela is looking for a place herself and she said she'd be more than happy to help with that. One of my coworkers, Trowa Barton, is of a Clan that runs a house-moving business. They have the moving vans and a storage warehouse and they work for both the Magical and the Human communities. We've arranged a meeting with a representative for tomorrow and I'm going to have all of your stuff stored for the time being. Is that okay?" I asked cautiously.

"I confess..." he began slowly. "I had not even thought of my possessions. Of course, there are things that mean a great deal to me; heirlooms, paintings, some pieces of furniture... I would be sad to lose those things, as I am sad to see my home becoming... an amusement park... but regardless of their sentimental value, they are still just 'things'. I value more my family." He paused, then added, "Except Miles."

That made me laugh out loud and Ctik chuckled along with me.

"I'm glad to hear it! We're going to do a walk-through with the Pumas and get everything set up and have all your stuff put into storage. The Clanhold is about six hours' drive from here, so it'll be simpler to put your hands on everything when we find you a place."

"That will be wonderful. How is that going, by the way? Should I modify my wants?"

I didn't particularly look forward to telling him that I hadn't found anything yet; hadn't even come close, but I did it anyway.

"No luck so far," I sighed. "I'm going to talk to the Magical estate agents tomorrow also. Nothing in the Human listings has been even remotely suitable."

"I don't need anything palatial," he said softly, rather wistfully even. "Just... not too close to other dwellings. And with room for a crypt. Somewhere... safe," he sighed.

I hadn't really noticed how worn he looked. Not in the same way as a Human or Magical Creature would look tired, but thin; stretched, if that makes any sense. He might be sleeping in a safe place now, but he clearly wasn't resting. I really needed to step up the search and also find an interim solution, just in case it took longer.

"Ctik, do you need to... um... feed?"

He smirked at me and I felt the pull of his charm. I'll bet he didn't need to force himself on anyone; those hazel eyes were pretty compelling all on their own. Not to mention that he was a rather attractive man. No wonder a Wizard had been "fond" of him.

"After you and Heero left me last night, I was able to make some arrangements. The management of the restaurant was quite happy to put aside a supply of blood for me for a small consideration. Animal blood isn't quite the same as human blood, but it is certainly sustaining. And the bartender at a small tavern down the road was very willing to offer... um... dessert?" He grinned at me. "You see, I am not totally helpless. I have never been in such a cheerfully mixed community before; it is enlightening as well as energizing," he said brightly. "I understand that Lord Q cannot allow me to stay here, but I will ask if I may visit from time to time."

In a weird way, that relieved my mind; that he would want to spend time here, even if he couldn't live here. Teal says I have some sort of clan-building instinct, wanting to gather people around me. He finds it amusing. I think he forgets sometimes, that I was not a wanderer by choice, but by necessity.

~*~

I parked in the lot next to the cellphone provider that Heero used. My phone is also on his account, so I figured they wouldn't try to screw us. Not if I invoked the magic words "I'll speak to Heero Yuy..." Amazing what those words will accomplish with certain businesses in town.

I could also drop "Wizard Q" for almost the same effect. People begin to sweat when Q is mentioned, but they begin to sweat and turn pale when Heero is referred to. And yes; of course it's petty to do that, but sometimes you just have to bring out the big guns with sales people and complaint desks.

The cellphone salesman was eager and pushy and did a good job of confusing the hell out of both of us. He must have been new, because he didn't react when I mentioned Heero's name, much to my annoyance. A passing staff member did, though, and within a minute the store manager was elbowing the new guy out of the way and grinning at me like a nervous Cheshire cat.

It took a couple of minutes of pleasantries regarding the health of and our satisfaction with my phone and Heero's before I was finally able to explain what Ctik needed. The original sales-bot hovered looking annoyed, but he wasn't stupid enough to argue with his boss. The sale went smoothly after that; Ctik picked out a simple phone, allowing that he would like to get comfortable with the technology before diving into the world of photos, texting and internet capability. We were able to set up the account and the automatic payments without any drama, and as an afterthought I asked them to link it temporarily with Heero's account, just so that I could make sure Ctik wasn't being charged for any extraneous crap. Even fear of Heero and Q doesn't guarantee total honesty.

Per my unanticipated battery concern, Ctik's phone would need to charge to be usable. I plugged it into the car charger and then dialed Gisela's number on my phone and handed it to Ctik with a smile. I left him with the car and my phone and let him have the privacy to get sentimental with his family. I spent twenty minutes walking around the mall, gathering some more ideas in the process. I was on my way back to the car, when Ctik met me. He looked much happier as he returned my phone.

"Thank you, Duo. My worries and Gisela's are greatly relieved now."

"Great! I was pretty sure you could work out anything with a little conversation."

He sighed and flashed that killer grin. "Michael tells me you asked about the gargoyles."

"Well, I don't figure an amusement park needs to have genuine antique stone gargoyles, and you might feel like displaying them yourself some day."

"I just might do that, if the property allows for it," he agreed. "They would be out of place on one of these modern buildings, but perhaps in a garden. Or perhaps a museum somewhere would like a few."

"Ooooh...! Good idea!" I laughed. I'd had another idea while cruising the mall. "Ctik, I don't want to get too personal here..."

"Oh, please; feel free to get as personal as you like," he shot back archly. "Mmm... Perhaps not that personal."

Yeah, Heero might not approve of "that personal".

"Uh, yeah. What I was wondering... Do you have any other clothing with you? Or is this it?"

He looked down at himself and sighed. "This is it, I am afraid. I did not have time to pack. Am I looking unkempt?"

"Not unkempt; no. Just sort of... um..."

"Scruffy?"

"Well... yeah. Not bad, though. You wouldn't get barred from any of the casual places, but some of the more up-scale establishments..." I shrugged apologetically.

"And I am slowly collecting grime," he added with a wry smile. "What would you recommend?"

"Maybe just some new jeans and shirts? I can arrange for the Castle laundry to clean these." I felt like I was channeling one of those TV makeover programs. Ctik didn't need making over, though, just some options.

"That seems a very good idea. I wonder," he began slowly. "Do you think I could beg the use of the Castle baths one of these nights? I realize Lord Q might insist that I have a chaperone..."

"Dirt not sticking to vampires is another creative license, right?"

"I am afraid so," he shrugged.

"I'll ask him when he gets back tomorrow. I don't see why it can't be worked out."

"Thank you. There is only so much one can do with paper towels and a lavatory sink."

"Been there, done that," I agreed. "Would rather not do it again."

In the men's department of one of the clothing stores we picked out two pairs of jeans and two woven shirts, plus a package of socks. I wasn't even going to ask if vampires wore underwear. After leaving the store, I suggested a stop at one of the magical shops for a bottomless bag. It would make sense for any other purchases he might make. We found a tidy little pouch that would hold all his clothing purchases and leave room for plenty more. Ctik flirted with the cashier, as well; a 30-something Witch with neon purple hair and a bubbly giggle.

He also asked if there were any boot makers in town and I had to think for a moment. My Banshee-style boots come from a shop in Ireland, recommended by Teal, and my sneakers are whatever is on sale, but I do have a pair of cowboy boots; a gift from Trowa and Wufei for my birthday.

"There are some non-magical stores that carry boots. I assume you mean real leather?"

He stared at me. "Boots are made of something other than leather?"

"Oh, yeah. Lots of synthetic materials out there these days."

He shuddered slightly. "No, thank you. I prefer genuine animal hide. They do still use that?"

"Absolutely." I set a course for the nearest Boot World shop.

Ctik walked out twenty minutes later wearing a really spiffy pair of Tony Lama boots. He was absolutely charmed by the notion of footwear made of ostrich and couldn't look at anything else. I offered him the name of the cobbler in Ireland for the future, but he allowed as how ready-made was more than acceptable. He kept staring down at the new boots as we crossed the parking lot.

"I had never even heard of an ostrich a hundred years ago," he said thoughtfully. "The very notion of a man-sized flightless bird would have been fantastic when I was young. Something from a Greek legend." He suddenly laughed. "Do you know, I have wanted for years to visit Australia. I would like to meet a platypus!"

"Huh. I wouldn't mind meeting one myself," I smiled. "Have you been to zoos? I know they keep daylight hours, but some have night tours during the summer."

"I have... availed myself of the opportunities to observe the nocturnal animals on occasion. The children have been helpful with photographs and films and now the computers allow almost constant viewing." He fastened his seatbelt without prompting. "It's not the same as being able to touch them, though. I have always loved animals."

Hmm... Maybe I could manage for him to have a cat or a dog as well as a Human companion.

~*~

We met Enrique and Inazuma at the restaurant at seven and were immediately seated at a table near the kitchen. The hostess passed out menus, but Ctik laid his down unopened. The Elves ordered beer and I asked for ice tea, since I was driving. Ctik smiled at the server who took the drink orders and said simply "The usual."

"Please," he said to us, "Order whatever you like; my treat. It is not often that I am fortunate enough to dine with Magical Creatures. Most of my friends and companions over the years have, by necessity, been Human."

"Do you not associate with other vampires?" asked Inazuma after the orders had been taken and our drinks - including Ctik's tall dark glass of blood - had arrived.

"Vampires are generally solitary predators. We do not mate with each other and we tend to be competitive and territorial. A vampire's range is usually large enough to support only one in comfort. It doesn't do to have too many vamps in one area; the Humans tend to notice," he said with a shrug. "Many of us - those who do not aspire to turn Humans - make alliances or business arrangements with select Humans for a steady supply of blood. The more powerful may accumulate a kind of entourage, but then they must shelter and support them." He smiled. "That would be an unnecessary headache for most vampires. The juvenile vamps and the Human hangers-on are really more trouble than they are worth."

Enrique laughed. "You have groupies and fangirls! I would never have expected that."

"But look at the popularity of vampires in fiction," I reminded him. "Humans are crazy for that stuff." He tilted his head in acknowledgement, smiling.

Ctik sighed, smiling ruefully. "I am continually amazed at the variety of vampires Humans have created. Books, films, television... even the games for the computer. And everyone wants to believe that we do exist."

"What's the usual reaction?" asked Zuma curiously. "When you tell someone, I mean?"

"Sometimes fascination, sometimes fear; usually skepticism." He swirled his drink. "If they don't believe, that's fine. I don't go about biting people indiscriminately. I like to know where they've been first."

"Don't we all," murmured Enrique with a smirk. Inazuma poked him discreetly in the ribs.

~*~

The Elves seemed to have really hit it off with Ctik. Granted, Enrique may have been acting as a genial watchdog, but it was a pleasant evening. I passed on dessert, since I needed to get back for Heero's call, but the others decided to stay a while longer.

Ctik walked me to the car - he truly is very "old world" - and thanked me again for the cellphone and the shopping trip.

"I didn't do any more than point things out," I demurred gently. "You did all the choosing and paying-for."

"Regardless," he smiled, "I appreciate your time in all of this. It is taking me time to gather my wits and begin making plans and I am very grateful for your help and Heero Yuy's indulgence during this period. It means a great deal to me to have a surrogate family to lean on, even briefly."

I didn't know what to say to that. I don't think I've ever been thanked so genteelly for accomplishing so little. I felt bad that I hadn't gotten further in my search and I resolved to try a lot harder.

"Ordinarily, I would say something about it being my job, but... I like you, personally, and I think what Miles did to you sucks. You seem like a very nice guy to me. Your family thinks you're a good guy and I tend to want the best for the good people in the world. I'll find you a place by Saturday, if I have to conjure one out of sawdust and tree sap!"

"And I believe you can do it!" he laughed. "I have one further favor to beg of you..."

"Ask away."

He reached into his jacket pocket and removed a folded piece of paper. "Gisela explained about the children's college account. I know she will make an effort to force Miles to replace the money, but in the meantime... would you give this to her? She is not to try to shoulder this burden alone; tell her I insist."

He handed me a check written in a graceful script, made out to Gisela, for $50,000. I may still be somewhat vague about money, but I know that the more zeros in front of the decimal, the larger the amount is.

"I want to pay all the moving costs, for her and the children as well as my own; you can arrange that with the Pumas?"

"I don't see why not," I said firmly. "And I will make sure Gisela doesn't go all independent."

"Thank you, Duo. She has always been a fine woman; Vivian and I both thought so from our first meeting. We also thought Miles was nowhere near good enough." He raised one eyebrow. "But who can argue with young love?"

I tucked the check into my other space and hugged him. "You're a stand-up guy, Ctik. I'll see you tomorrow; your phone will be ready to use by then."

"Give Heero Yuy my regards, and my thanks."

~*~

I was pretty pleased with myself, I have to admit. I'd arranged for Ctik to be responsible for his own security, gotten him a phone, a conversation with Gisela - and the check to deliver, which I was sure she would protest - some fresh clothing and a couple more acquaintances. Inazuma was clearly charmed by the gentlemanly vampire and Enrique had shown no hostility. He's quite a bit older than we are, though, so I expect he can take care of himself against most any aggressive Creature, and Ctik is far from aggressive.

I parked carefully in Heero's preferred space under the shed roof and jogged across the lot and the commons and up the stairs to my room. I made quick work of my shower - damn, but having shorter hair is great - and was comfortably ensconced on my bed with a soda and my cellphone by ten till.

The expectation of phone sex was actually secondary to my desire to tell Heero all that I had accomplished since noon. Yeah, I really want him to be proud of me. It would kill me to think anyone talked behind his back about his lame choice in Chosens.

When 2200 arrived, it wasn't my cellphone that rang, but the brazier in the corner that flared. That was unexpected; you really don't want to do anything as intimate as distance sex through the fire; it's not private from anyone with the knowledge or power to hack in. I know, cellphones aren't secure either, but no one's watching through a cell hack.

I scrambled off the bed and across the room to tap the copper bowl. I'm not saying I was worried, but a little confused? Oh, yeah.

The flames parted and Heero's image appeared. I knew instantly that something was wrong.

"Angel..." he said wearily.

"Heero! What's wrong? What happened?"

He closed his eyes briefly. "We had a... an incident. We won't be home until late tomorrow. I'm sorry; I'm not..."

Up to phone sex? Well, duh!

"Never mind that! Tell me!"

He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. "First, we are both unharmed. Q is monumentally pissed - not at me, though maybe he should be - with everything and everyone else."

"Okay, that's good. That neither of you are hurt, I mean." Crap. Was he going to make me dig it out, fact by fact? I'd reach through those flames and smack him if he did. "But what happened?!"

"I told you about the 'festivities'? It consisted of a banquet of local delicacies and traditional entertainment; dancing, music, the usual." He wasn't looking at me, which is not like Heero at all. He tends to fix the object of his conversation with a stare that could melt steel; this shifty-eyed stuff was not in his repertoire. Not at all. I started to get scared.

"Yeah, you mentioned that..."

"Part of the festivities included a blood sacrifice."

Damn. I know that goes on in some places with some religions; chickens or goats, I guess. Heero wouldn't look so rattled for a chicken, though.

"Heero..."

He wasn't looking at me, but past me, as if he was seeing it again in his head.

"They brought out a- not a child, but a young person, male, I think." Oh shit. Oh fucking shit. I bit down on my lip, knowing what was coming. "The headman was going on about honor and demons... and he took up the carving knife and just... slit his throat. A Human sacrifice! In front of us!" he growled, outraged. "I reacted badly," he grumbled after a moment. "I ripped his bloody damn barbaric head off." He brought his hands to his face again. I could barely breathe. "I am supposed to be expecting the unexpected with these idiots, but I... reacted automatically. I am... ashamed of myself."

"Oh, fuck... Heero... Don't do that... What's wrong with them?! Of course you would react instinctively!" I snarled.

"But I am supposed to be better than instinct," he argued wearily. "I am a Dragon; a Wyvern. Our standards are higher, our expectations more exacting." He groaned; a sound he's never made before. I wanted to crawl through the fire - or call a porter - and get to him. Heero Yuy is not supposed to look so despondent. It's... it's unnatural, dammit!

"You stop that, Heero Yuy! I will not have you beating yourself up over the psycho actions of a bunch of lunatic Humans! I'm coming there!" I turned to grab some clothes and Heero reacted.

"You will not!" he snapped. "You have a job to do and you will stay right there and do it!"

Okay, that sounded a lot more like my Wyvern.

"Then you give me a damn good reason why I can't come!" I snapped right back.

He gave me an offended look that softened and melted into another sigh. "Because Q is in the process of chewing the asses off the entire African office? Because I have to stay until this is sorted out? Because I want to spend a quiet night with you before I have to report to my Clan council?"

"You what? The Clan? You mean Giniro?" My heart sank.

"I do. I have talked to her and Q has talked to her, but I still have to appear. She is Not Amused at the moment."

Ah, shit. Now Heero was in trouble with his Clan. Dammit! He is never doing this again without me! I opened my mouth to tell him that when another voice came from behind him.

"Duo! You can discuss this affair later. This is not a secure fire." Q's head popped into the corner of the flames. Can a person look both homicidal and eager while not being a serial killer? Q managed it. "Report on your assignment."

Crap. I'd forgotten about that. I suppose it would be better to hear the whole craptacular story in person; at least then I could get my hands on my Dragon. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Okay. Sorry, Q"

"Give us something else to contemplate, Banshee. Have you housed the vampire yet?"

Encouraged by Heero's tired smirk and a wryly waggled eyebrow, I took it from this morning. I explained that Inazuma was helping and Q nodded his agreement. I went over our list and ticked off the things we had accomplished. I brought up the plan to visit New York to deal with the Pumas and see to shipping Ctik's goods. Finally, I had to admit I hadn't found a place for the vamp yet. Heero frowned, but Q called from somewhere behind Heero that I should call the Magical real estate agents. Heero nodded along and then said that Tiffany knew a couple of agents; they handled the sale of her condo.

"Thanks, Q; Heero. I thought of that, but wasn't sure how to proceed. Are you sure it's okay for us to go tomorrow? Shouldn't we be in the office...?"

"We won't be back until late; possibly after sundown," Q assured me. "This is your job, so there's no reason to change your plans."

I could argue that, but I didn't want to make Heero feel any worse. He needed me to stiffen up and be a professional, not start whining like a sulky Human. Q left the room and Heero relaxed a bit.

"I miss you," he said softly. "I am sorry to disappoint you. This is not the way I intended to spend our call."

"I know. It's okay; you've had a crappy day." He smiled for me and I felt better. "It can't have been... um... I mean, seeing someone killed like that..."

"I know I threaten to rip off heads, but I've never actually done it," he muttered. "Certainly not like this... I've killed, of course, but not a Human, not like this," he repeated and shook his head slightly. "Never mind. Talk to me about your day. I've heard the over-view, now tell me the details," he commanded. So I did.

Told him about Farq and Teal and the gargoyles and vampire groupies. I told him about telling Ms Cranky Badger to make sure Farq was in his less stinky form from now on and he agreed and said he'd back me up on that one. I even got him to laugh a few times. When I finally ran down, he gave me a look, and even knowing that the fire image wasn't real, I leaned in. He held up his hand and I laid mine against that image. We both sighed heavily and I giggled.

"I love you," he murmured.

I smiled and got as close as my inner demons would let me. "Backatcha, big guy."

"Tomorrow."

"You know it."

The fire fell and went out, taking his image with it.

I flopped across my bed and growled out a heartfelt, "Fuck!" I so wanted to go where they were and take out my irritation on whoever was left of those lousy excuses for Human beings! Sap dammit! I wouldn't be sleeping much tonight, that's for sure. I dragged myself upright and went in search of my usual insomnia cure: yarn.

TBC...

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