Author: Merula
Pairings: 1x2
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Yaoi, AU, Lemon
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.
Loved
I was stretched out on the couch reading when Heero came home. I had finished up all my paperwork early for a change and had taken shameless advantage of the fact to escape HQ a little early. It hadn't been the best of days. My case had ended in a somewhat messy way, there had been that thing with Parker during lunch, and Wufei had been upset about something and decided that being cross to everyone within 10 feet of him was a fun thing to do. Heero managed to ignore him- nothing ruffles that guy, but after the third comment about my unprofessional behavior, I was ready to strangle him with my braid.
I was more than happy to escape, come home, take a nice hot shower and try to relax. I smiled at Heero when he walked in and shrugged out of his uniform jacket. He toed off his shoes and I went back to my book. I knew Heero's nightly routine by heart. He'd go change, sit down at his computer for a little while and in about an hour ask me what we were going to do for dinner.
To my complete and utter surprise, Heero walked over to the couch and climbed in beside me. He wedged himself between me and the back of the couch, burying his head on my chest, wrapping his arms around me.
Heero Yuy is not a cuddler. He has never been a cuddler. We've been lovers for years and the man has never ever curled up next to me. Not even after sex. I think I can count on one hand the times that he's hugged me- and I started each one of those hugs.
I put my book down and returned his embrace, concerned. What the hell had happened? I knew it was pretty useless to ask. Heero would tell me in his own time, he didn't like to be pushed.
So I waited, enjoying the rare opportunity to curl up with Heero, and yet worried as all hell. Something had to have happened. I let my fingers wander through his hair, petting him gently, something I had always wanted to do, but never had. Heero merely pressed himself tighter against me.
This was completely freaking me out. "Heero?" I had to ask, I didn't know if I would get an answer, but I couldn't wait. Not when he was like this. "Uh... are you okay?"
He nodded.
Not helpful. I wondered if some kind of alien had possessed my lover and taken over his body. Though the silent response was pretty typical.
Heero lifted himself up a bit and I thought I was finally going to get an explanation. I didn't. He merely pulled himself up my body a few inches and kissed me.
When it comes to this, Heero is an expert. The man can reduce me to begging with one of his kisses. But this wasn't one of those hot demanding kisses that he usually gave me. This was light and tentative, exploring my mouth with gentle touches of lips and tongue.
Heero didn't ever kiss me like this. Not even the first time in that dorm all that time ago. Then he had just pinned me up against the wall and ravaged my mouth.
I'm not complaining. Oh no.
This gentle kiss was devastating, inflaming my senses, but Heero's mouth did that to me on a regular basis. My brain wanted to tune out and enjoy it, but at the same time it was worrying. What was making Heero act like this?
The idea of alien possession occurred to me again.
Maybe something happened at work after I left? I wondered when he would tell me.
Heero's mouth slid away from mine, moved down my neck. I tilted my head back for him, expecting to feel his teeth. Heero likes to mark me. Not where it shows, just where he can see it and I can feel it.
He didn't bite, the gentle caress of his mouth moved down my throat and to my chest, making me happy for a moment that I hadn't put on a shirt.
Then he was pulling away from me and I thought I might get some kind of explanation. I didn't. Heero got to his feet and reached out a hand to me. I took it hesitantly and he tugged me to my feet. Once I was standing beside him, he kissed me again, another gentle brush of lips. Then I was off my feet and he was carrying me towards the bedroom.
This wasn't too unusual, though usually I was tossed over a shoulder and carried, not lifted up into his arms. And usually it only happened if I had been teasing him and he wanted a softer surface than our living room floor.
I was placed gently on the bed, not tossed, and he stretched out beside me instead of pinning me to the mattress. He finally undid his tie, sliding the fabric through his fingers and I wondered if he was going to use it on me. Heero likes to tie me up in all kinds of positions; he likes to make me beg. Again, not that I'm complaining. I love it when he does stuff like that. But the tie was tossed on the floor, his shirt collar was loosened and then he was kissing me again, his hands moving over my body, pulling off my sweats.
I helped him out, pulling his clothes off of him, tossing them on the floor.
Heero's mouth moved down my chest, across my stomach and I reached under the pillow next to me for the tube I knew he would need. I knew this part, this was familiar... but again Heero surprised me.
I was expecting him to reach up for the tube I had placed by my hip, expected the fierce demanding pull of his mouth, the roughness of his fingers...
I wasn't expecting the caress of his tongue, over and over again, lapping at me, making my vision blur and my hands clutch in the blankets. When he finally reached for the tube, I was shaking with need, the brush of his fingers nearly pushing me over the edge.
He slowed down even more, his fingers easing themselves into me, opening me up slowly, drawing out the sensation, making me beg him to get on with it.
He didn't listen to me. His caresses continued, taking me higher, and when I thought I was going to go over, his mouth and fingers left me at the edge, moving back up my body. He knelt between my legs, bracing me against his thighs, and pushed into me slowly, letting me adjust to him. Heero always took this part slowly, but usually he sped up once I was ready for him. He didn't this time. Instead he set a slow pace, letting his hands roam over my skin, making the blood heat up in my veins even more.
Heero personified endurance. The man could literally fuck me through the mattress. We had gone through three of them already in our time together here. He could easily blow my mind when he went hard and fast. This slow and gentle thing he was doing fried all of my circuits. I lost myself in it. It wasn't until afterwards when I recovered enough to look at the clock beside us that I realized how much time had passed. Heero was curled up beside me, arm across my waist.
Like I said, Heero does not do post-sex cuddling. Not even when it's me doing the taking, when I'm the one making him beg, when I've made him lose his control. Even then he doesn't curl up with me like this.
"That was... different," I tried when Heero didn't seem inclined to talk.
"Did you like it?" His voice was soft and hesitant, not like my Heero at all.
"You know I did." I tried to sound reassuring. Something was going on here. I waited for a moment, but Heero didn't say anything more. Damn it.
"You know I like everything you do to me," I started, wondering how to direct this conversation. Heero saved me for a brief moment.
"I know, but I thought..." And he stopped again.
"Thought what?"
"That thing with Parker this week..."
That made me blink. The thing with Parker had started on Monday. A note was sent to me through interoffice mail, secret admirer type of crap. Heero and I got them occasionally. The Preventers is a large organization and dating is permissible. Neither Heero nor I advertised the fact we were together, so occasionally we had to turn down offers. I hadn't thought anything of the note, just tossed it in the trash.
I did the same with the ones that followed on Tuesday and Wednesday. Thursday's red rose I had given to Sally, the note had gone in the trash with the others. The notes had not been particularly poetic or anything really special. Friday's note had been accompanied with an invite to lunch with the sender who had finally put their name on the bottom of the note. I had sent a nice email with a 'thanks, but no thanks' and thought that was end of it.
Parker had decided to stop by the office and try again. I hadn't really listened to most of his spiel. I had told him that I was involved and not available.
In all honesty, I couldn't really remember what I had said; the messy case thing had still been at the forefront of my mind.
"What do you mean?"
"You... the last note he gave you this morning... I read it."
I shrugged. "So? You know you could've read any of them." I didn't keep secrets from Heero.
"I know. But your expression when you read it... you looked like you... like you wanted that."
Wanted what? was my first thought. What was Heero talking about? I pulled up the note's contents from memory. Something about always being there to hold me and comfort me... I know that I had thought that part sounded good right at that moment. The case had been really bad.
"Well, after I got the news about the Bannon case..."
"I know. You were upset." Heero's hand on my waist tightened. "I was going to suggest the gym at lunch, but then you got that note and you looked..." he took a deep breath, "and I realized that you needed something else. And then he showed up, and you told him that you had someone, but..."
"But what?" I prompted. "Heero, what did I say? I honestly really wasn't even listening to him. I was thinking about that case..."
"I know. You get very truthful when you're distracted."
This was news to me. "I do?"
"He said he hoped your someone fulfilled all of your needs, and you said that they did enough of them that you weren't going to complain about the few that didn't get filled..." I winced.
"Heero, I'm sorry! I didn't mean..."
"I'm sorry. I never realized... I never thought that you weren't happy with the way things were. You never said anything, you never complained..."
"There's nothing to complain about," I protested. "Heero- I knew when we got involved that it wasn't going to be love notes and roses and all that crap. I didn't want any of that. I still don't..."
"But you want to be held. You want to feel loved and cherished..." His word choice made me blink, he never used that word, and then I realized he had to be quoting from the note. "I wanted to show you I could do that too if that's what you wanted."
I sighed and pulled him closer. "Idiot, I already do. You don't have to change anything. Not that occasional cuddling would be bad- and I definitely want you to do that slow and easy thing again, but you don't have to do them for me to feel that way. I know you care about me. You've stayed with me all this time, even when I've been a total bastard. I know you cherish me- who threw himself between me and that bullet six months ago? Which I'm still a bit upset about by the way."
I felt his mouth curve up in a smile against my shoulder, felt the tension leave his body. "You just like to hold a grudge."
"You know I do." I laughed. "And that's just it Heero. Why would I trade you for anyone else? I'll never find anyone who knows me as well as you do."
"I guess it was stupid of me, but I don't want to lose you." I knew how Heero felt about me, but he rarely said anything about it out loud. Those were words I would cherish.
"You won't." I gave him one last squeeze. "Even if you want to escape, I'll never let you. Dinner?" I knew Heero would appreciate the change in subject.
He reached up one last time and kissed me. "I love you," it was a mere wisp of sound. "Pasta okay?"
I bit my lip for a moment. "Sounds terrific."
OWARI
Back to Merula's Fanfictions Page