Author: Merula
Pairings: None
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Silliness
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine.
Okay, a very very long time ago BW challenged us to write a fic about the Gboys working for the Disney Store. As a former employee of aforementioned place I felt this was something that I could do. We finally finished it. So, in answer to her challenge- here it is.
And no, I did not make any of the Disney policies up. They were all in effect when I worked there.
Disneyland
The manager of the Disney Store looked at her new employee with some dismay. She knew that orders had come down from 'above' to hire the young man for a few days. Some kind of security sting- Preventers involvement- the whole thing. But he really didn't fit the image the Disney Store wanted to project. He had a ponytail for one thing. But, orders were orders.
"All right Wufei, let me just get your costume..."
"It's Mr. Chang."
"No it isn't. " the manager retained her smile. "Here at the Disney Corporation we are on a first name basis from the upper management down the line."
"Ah. Disrespectful," the young man snorted. The manager hid her desire to slap the arrogant expression off his face behind a perky grin. If there was one thing Disney employees learned fast, it was how to act like you were the happiest person in the world, no matter how irritated, mad or psycho you really were.
"Now, go get changed and then meet me 'onstage'. I'll be by the cash wrap."
"On stage?"
"Yes, that's what we call the sales floor. The Disney Corporation likes it's employees to think of themselves as actors. The sales floor is our stage."
"That is silly."
"No, it's not," the manager never lost her smile. "That way we can leave all of our personal problems in the green room. Once we walk on stage we are the happiest, friendliest and most respectful customer service suppliers that we can be." The manager stressed each adjective, hoping that the agent would get the point. "Now, go change into your costume and I'll meet you by the cash wrap."
The agent stormed off towards the bathroom and the manager allowed her face to relax into a grimace.
"He's going to be a problem." She went out to the cash wrap with a deep sense of foreboding.
"How's the new guy?" Kitty, a longtime Disney employee and her second-in-command asked when she got there. Ororo sighed.
"If they weren't making me do this... The guy is NOT Disney material!"
"I know," Kitty consoled her. "Don't worry, it won't be for long." She grinned and then her eyes widened. "Oh my."
Ororo looked towards the back of the store. Her new employee was stalking towards her. His khaki pants were neatly pressed, his pink shirt and powder blue sweater were spotless. But...
~*~
Wufei stood in front of Commander Une's desk. She was frowning.
"You didn't last an hour Agent Chang!"
"She said I couldn't have my sword!"
"It's a children's store!"
"The perpetrator might have come in at any moment! I had to be prepared!"
"You sliced the head off of Mickey in front of a two year old!" Une snapped. "Dismissed Agent Chang!"
Wufei stalked out of the room. Une picked up the phone.
"Ms. Munroe? I apologize for my agent's behavior..."
"It's all right Commander. I know this is a necessary operation, but maybe next time you could send someone with... less of a forceful personality?" The manager's voice was faintly hesitant as if she doubted anyone of that description worked for the Preventers.
"I have someone in mind." The Commander reassured her. "He should fit right in."
"Thank you commander. I will look for him tomorrow?"
"Yes, thank you." Une hung up the phone and rang her secretary. "Send Agent Barton in to me please?"
~*~
Trowa stood in front of Commander Une's desk.
"Well, you lasted two hours longer than Agent Chang. Want to tell me what happened?"
Trowa shrugged.
Une sighed, "Dismissed."
She picked up the phone. "Ms. Munroe? It's Commander Une again. Can you tell me what happened with this one?"
"He didn't talk to the customers." Ororo explained gently. "Look. Disney store employees are helpful and cheerful. Do you have anyone like that?"
"I think so. Shall I send him in tomorrow?"
"Of course Commander."
~*~
Une picked up the phone. It was not quite noon. She was sure she had sent the right one this time.
"Commander Une?"
"Ms. Munroe? How can I help you? Is Agent Winner not satisfactory?"
"Well, he started off okay." The manager said cheerfully. "And he looked just darling in the outfit. He was really friendly and helpful until this four year old smacked him in the head with a stuffed Eeyore." Her voice faltered a bit. "Then he started rushing around the store asking people if they were his enemy."
"Oh no," Une buried her face in her hands.
"He's lying down now, but I think he scared off too many customers. I don't suppose you have anyone a bit more- stable?"
~*~
The phone rang twenty minutes after Une knew the store had opened.
"No way." Ororo's voice was flat. "He won't do at all."
"He's stable," Une offered.
"He doesn't smile and he's already scared five children when he tried." The manager's voice actually got faintly scolding. "Commander, there must be someone you can send!"
"I have one more option, but he really won't fit your dress code."
"Commander, at this point I'll take a monkey if it can be cheerful."
Une hung up the phone. She had one option left.
~*~
It was late in the day when Une's phone rang.
"What's the problem this time Ms. Munroe?" Une braced herself.
"There's no problem! That young man you sent is just terrific! He looked great in the costume! He didn't scare any children, and he said to tell you that he got the evidence you needed while he was on his break today. In fact, he was so great, that we decided to keep him. He's going through the brainwashing process right now."
"WHAT?!?"
Ororo started laughing. "I'm joking commander. He's on his way in. We can't take him- his hair is too long!"
Une laughed in relief. "Whew! You had me going there, Ms. Munroe! Thanks for your help!"
"Anytime Commander." Ororo hung up the phone and sighed.
"What is it?" Kitty asked her as she hung up her sweater.
"It is too bad about his hair. If he wasn't so attached to it then we could've run him through the Synergy Brainwasher. But I think his desire to keep it was too strong."
"It is a pity," Kitty agreed. "It's so hard to find good help these days."
OWARI
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