Bittersweet Part 5
"Duo," he said in a soft tone. "It's good to see you." His head was bent a little so that he was peering at me through his bangs. He only did that when he was nervous...
He wasn't the only one. I could feel the empty tray starting to slide out of my fingers, my palms suddenly slick with sweat.
"Yeah," I managed, and back peddled a bit. "Um, I just need to put this away." My shoulder hit the door and I slid into the kitchen, dropping the tray beside the sink, breathing hard as if I'd just run a mile.
I closed my eyes, trying to regain my composure.
Heero.
Here.
I took a deep breath.
He knew where I worked- now it would be easy enough for him to find out where I lived. Nell only had one employee registered with the city's database. It wasn't my name in there, but it was my address, my telephone number...
I still wanted to run... wanted to fling open the back door and just go as fast as I could...
My hand was on the door handle before I realized it.
It was stupid. I wouldn't get far... I'd have to gather up my things and run back to Howard...
The door was halfway open.
I'd have to change identities again. Nell would have to find a new employee...
A pair of arms suddenly wrapped themselves around my chest.
"Don't run. Please Duo..." Heero's voice in my ear.
"But-" I started.
"No. Please. I won't lecture. I won't even talk to you without your permission, but please- don't run."
I couldn't answer. I bent my head a little and looked down. Heero's hands were locked together, fingers intertwined- a Celtic band on his left hand.
His arms tightened a little. "Relena wants to talk to you. Won't you at least come and talk to her? Just for a little while?"
"I sent her a message," I protested, though I knew that wouldn't be enough.
"You don't want to talk to her?" His arms loosened a bit, and I managed to turn myself enough so that I could see his face.
Not that I could see much of it. His head was bent even more, his bangs blocking me from reading his expression. "I messed up that much?" I knew that tone of voice, knew that Heero was berating himself, even if I wasn't sure exactly why. It shocked a protest out of me:
"No-"
"Then why not? You don't even have to go with me. Just go with Trowa and Quatre." He lifted his head and met my eyes. I saw the tightness around his mouth and automatically lifted my hand to brush my fingertips against his skin, trying to soothe the tension.
He turned his head a little and kissed my palm briefly, his usual reaction.
I took a deep breath. It was too easy to fall into our patterns, too easy to reach out to him, too easy to want to forget what happened...
He bent his head a little and touched my mouth with his briefly. "Sorry," he murmured. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think you'd... I didn't want to... I went back... I was so worried... wasn't thinking..." I tried to follow the jumbled sentences and was caught off guard when he suddenly pulled me tight against his chest. He kissed me again, harder, deeper... and then was just as suddenly gone.
I blinked. He was at least a foot away now, head bent again, face hidden.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I meant what I said earlier. I won't even talk to you unless you say it's okay. Won't you please come and see Relena and the others?"
Before I could answer, the kitchen door swung open and Quatre stuck his head in.
"I'm taking my tarts and going before I buy the whole damn store. Heero- take Duo to his apartment so he can change and then bring him to the hotel. I already called 'Lena," he waved his cell phone at me cheerfully, "so she's expecting you. See you in an hour or so?"
The door swung closed and I found myself near smiling. Only Quatre...
"Okay, okay," I sighed. Best to accept defeat gracefully. I opened the back door and waved Heero through. "I'd better go home and change before Quatre just decides to cart me off." I sighed again.
"Goodbye Nell!" I called.
"Goodbye sweetheart! You have a good weekend!" She called back. The woman sounded smug and I wondered what Quatre and Trowa had been telling her.
Or maybe they had bought most of the damn store...
Heero smiled at me as I closed the door behind us and started down the street.
"I see Quatre and Trowa haven't changed any," I said, rolling my eyes. "Everyone else okay?"
Heero nodded. "Everyone's fine."
I waited for him to ask about me, and then felt vaguely insulted when he simply paced beside me. Did he not care what I had been doing? Didn't he want to know anything?
Maybe he didn't... maybe he had moved on somehow...
But that kiss... and the look on his face... was I wrong? Could I not read him anymore? He was tense again and I wondered why... my presence? Or something else?
I fretted for a block before I remembered what Heero had said about talking. I mentally smacked myself.
"Heero- you can talk to me," I told him and watched his shoulders relax. Bingo.
"Thank you." He said softly. "I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't want me to speak to you. You still don't have to..."
"Heero," I sighed. "I just don't want a talk like our last one."
"I don't either." His voice was still soft. "I'm very sorry. I know that's not enough, but I am."
"I just didn't understand why you were so angry..." I had to stop and take a breath. The sudden upwelling of anger inside my chest surprised me. But I didn't want to yell at Heero on a public street. "It's not like anything went wrong..."
He looked up and met my eyes. "No- but we thought it had."
"What do you mean?"
"There had been some kidnapping threats- you remember that?"
"Sure, Relena gets them pretty frequently- I don't remember there being a particular one..."
"There wasn't. But after the two of you had vanished there were reports of a kidnapping on the far side of the colony- a young couple. The girl had been shoved in a car, the young man had been shot dead when he'd tried to help her. We had only a sketchy report- the coms went down... we couldn't locate either of you and..." He paused for a moment, his mouth in an unhappy line. "We were so sure that it was you..."
My mouth felt dry. I licked my lips, trying to think of something to say. No wonder...
"I didn't know..."
Heero nodded. "I know. I found out afterwards that Une hadn't said anything to you about it- she thought I had briefed you. I thought she had. We both over reacted- we had been so worried and you two just waltzed in..."
I shook my head. "I'm sorry. I didn't..."
"I know you didn't," he interrupted. "It wasn't your fault. It was mine. I overreacted and never told you why. I just... I was so worried... you just went off without a care, without a thought for...." His lips suddenly shut tight.
"I'm sorry," he said a moment later. "I said I wouldn't lecture."
"It's okay," I replied, but Heero didn't speak again, and I didn't ask him anything more.
We walked in silence for a bit longer until we reached my building. My brain was practically humming with conflicting thoughts. Heero had reacted that way because he'd been worried- I had given him a scare.
But had I scared him that badly? Enough so that he'd say all of those things to me? It just didn't seem enough somehow. Had his temper finally just gotten away from him? Or was there more he wasn't telling me?
Heero stopped on the stairs.
"Aren't you coming in?" I asked.
"I can wait out here if you'd rather," he answered. "Just- don't take the back way out?"
Too late to do that, I thought. Heero would no doubt watch both doors and call the shuttle port if I wasn't out in a timely manner. I could slip through- but I didn't really want to run. I had other questions for Heero....
"It's too cold to wait out here," I told him. "Come inside."
Heero followed me up the steps and I ushered him into my apartment.
TBC...
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