Author: Jei

Warnings: Shounen ai, Duo POV

Pairings: 1+2

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Standard disclaimers apply.

fun fact: erm... okay, so this can just stand on its own as a fluffy little ficlet, but what it really is is something i conjured up when i was running get-together scenarios through my head for haven. obviously, i decided not to go with this one in the end, but then i just decided to write it up when i got bored at work the other day. i didn't bother thinking this through very carefully. so this is a what if there were no relena and suzuhara-san as catalysts in haven, and it probably would have taken them a few years longer to get to this point. (one of several reasons i decided against this. i probably have enough people out to lynch me as it is. =P)

Hypothesis

I crawled onto the sofa next to him and wedged myself shamelessly into the curve of his side, knowing that he wouldn't mind. I'd had a simply miserable day, the kind of day where you just wish you could go back to bed, curl up, pull the covers high over your head and will the rest of the world away. Not being near my bed at the moment, Heero would have to do. Heero, being the great guy that he is, obliged me by holding still, and when I mmrphed a little more emphatically against him, he shifted his arm to lie companionably over my shoulders. There. Settled, now I could get on with fishing for sympathy. I could usually depend on him to give it to me -- that's what best friends are for -- but never in excess. It was like begging snacks off a health nut. What he gave me would fill my tummy, and ultimately it was even much better for me, even if it didn't satisfy my self-indulgent needs.

I filled him in on the events of my day. I started out with the way I gagged on my toothpaste that morning, moved on to the truck that nearly ran me over during my lunch break, mentioned how a broken elevator made me late getting back and earned me a scathing lecture from my supervisor, covered the asshole who tried to get me in trouble because I refused to do his work for him, and hit every other highlight of my day in between. There sure were a lot of them. And since we were there, I tossed in a lament on my non-existent love-life and a diatribe on the skyrocketing price of fresh vegetables in the colonies.

He listened attentively to my every word -- or at least it seemed that way. Who knows what he was really doing? He nodded and grunted at the appropriate places, anyway, and made a vaguely sympathetic comment or two. That was all I really needed, just someone who cared listening to me.

After I was done sharing, I didn't budge. I was still taking ruthless advantage of the situation, determined to soak in all the good post-complaining cuddlies I could, and when my mind started wandering, it realized that I wasn't just feeling pretty darn good. There was something almost nostalgic about the feeling, something warm and tremendous and remarkable, and to my surprise, something in me identified it as the feeling of being loved.

Loved. Loved like I hadn't felt since a nice nun hugged me and told me that I didn't smell bad. Loved like I hadn't felt since a kind priest told me that he would always take me in, even if no one else would. Only this... this was different. This was... more. This wasn't tinged with that faint scent of bitterness and cynicism and disbelief that had always managed to creep in there. This was... wow. Like bread fresh out of the oven wow.

I pulled back just a little and managed to stare at his face for a little while. He was just gazing out the window at nothing in particular, his fingers absently brushing against my arm in a soothing gesture. After a bit, he blinked, apparently noticing that I had changed my position, and he turned to look at me with a silently inquisitive expression on his face.

It only took me a moment to figure out what to say. "Heero. Can I kiss you?"

He blinked again, then raised an eyebrow at me. "...Why would you want to do that?"

And from the way that one little Heeroism made me want to smile and laugh, from the way my chest seemed to tighten and lighten all at once, I knew. "Well, I just realized something. I could be very attracted to you, head over heels in love with you, really, if I wanted to be."

He blinked again, and there was that little tiny crinkle he got on his forehead when he was trying to figure something -- usually me -- out. "...Are you saying you want to be?"

I didn't know what I wanted, truth be told, which only seemed absolutely ridiculous, given the sudden clarity I had been gifted with, but it didn't seem like it was that big a deal, either. I felt like I should have been standing on a precipice, about to make the most important decision of my life, but I wasn't. I wasn't, because no matter what, love-life or not, Heero and I were together, and that was all that mattered.

"I don't know," I told him, a contemplative smile on my face. "Could be fun. And it could solve all my love-life problems. If you don't mind, that is. Would you mind?"

He was still trying to figure me out, and it was getting more adorable by the moment. "You can say yes or no," I reassured him. "Whatever is fine. It was just a thought." Some time soon would be preferable, though. Something was gathering momentum inside of me, and I didn't want to put a stop to it unless I had to, but the longer I left it to simmer, the longer it would take for it to cool down again.

I wanted the kiss for confirmation. I suppose I just wanted to see if I was right or not. I get petty like that. But really, what wasn't there to love about him? One love or another, it was no big deal. If it was like kissing a brother, then that was that. If it was like kissing a lover, then that was that. If it was like something in between... well, I'd figure that out if we got there. Of course, Heero had to be willing to go there, first.

He was giving it the same careful consideration that he gave all matters. Figuring this would probably take a while, I settled back down to wait. It was a remarkably comfy feeling. I wondered if this was maybe a part of the reason behind all my failed attempts at relationships with other people. Nothing else had ever felt this good. If I ever managed to find myself a significant other, that person would have to share me with Heero, that was a fact.

I couldn't stop myself from idly tracing patterns on his thigh with my finger. His hand was still wandering up and down my arm, after all. I didn't want to distract him, but the fact that he was thinking so hard about this was just... so very Heero. Some people might have been irritated. To me, it should have been amusing, and it was, but it was also... I think the best way I could put it was to say that I had become rather fond of his actions. I was utterly charmed by him, and I'd never seen it before. And just think, if we became lovers, then I would have a whole new set of actions to become fond of and charmed by. That sounded rather promising. And if we didn't... well, I could still be charmed by him, the same as I apparently had always been.

He finally stirred. "Sure, why not?" he declared with a tiny shrug, and oh what I would have given to have been privy to the stream of consciousness that led him to that conclusion.

"Yeah?" Just had to make sure, you know. Besides, it seemed like I should say something before we jumped into things.

"Yeah. I haven't come up with any reason why we shouldn't give it a shot."

That worked for me. I had received my full permission to go ahead and test my hypothesis. If I was wrong, well, then we'd have our reason. A little bit after the fact, but still. And if I was right, well, yay. Go us. I shifted and twisted in place to get into a better position, contemplated his lips for a moment, and then I kissed him, short and sweet.

I'd never had a brother, and I'd never had a lover, so I didn't know for sure where in the range that kiss might have fallen, but I did know that I wanted to do that again. Ha, knew I was right. I'd never gotten this level of heart-thumping breathlessness before with anyone else, and it couldn't have been the kiss itself. I mean, as kisses went, this one was very tame.

I couldn't help the tiny little goofy grin I got looking at Heero's expression. It was like how I must have looked when I came to Earth and saw the ocean for the very first time. "That was nice," I ventured.

He blinked himself back into the present. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, it was."

"Wanna do it again?"

I was offended and amused all at once by the way he didn't have an immediate answer for me, but I let it go. Maybe I was just that mind-blowing, and if that was so, then who was I to complain? Besides, he eventually got around to answering me with a kiss, and then all was right with the world.

OWARI

 

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