I Backward Cast My E'e Part 19
Hello, Howard.
I hope the holiday season has treated you well.
I apologize for e-mailing you out of the blue like this. The last time I spoke to Duo, he gave me the business card for your market, from which I found your address. Duo was quite right. It would be inappropriate and inconsiderate of me to continue dropping by unannounced as I have been, particularly in cornering you at your place of business.
I'm not sure if Duo ever expected me to make use of the card he gave me, but I hope you will forgive one more mostly-unsolicited contact.
I wanted to apologize for stirring up the past, and any unpleasant memories that came with it. I'm afraid I may have forgotten that not everyone would be as interested in pursuing the matter as I was. Duo called me a 'glutton for punishment'. Maybe it's true, or maybe I was just intent on chasing after my husband's ghosts.
When I heard Jake had a son whose existence his family had largely ignored or forgotten, I worried about my own fate, and more especially my daughter's. Maybe by finding this son and trying to establish some sort of connection with him, I was trying to counteract those worries. I'm not certain. But I am certain that my family is different from the Maxwells. Certain, and grateful. I don't live near them anymore, but we've always been a tight-knit group. Having spent the holidays back home with them has reminded me of the family I do have and will always have with them.
But I suppose none of that is of particular interest to you. What it boils down to is mostly that I do not think you have any reason to fear further unexpected visits from me and your past. I still don't know all the facts, but I will probably never know all of the facts, and I am at peace with that now.
That being said, however... I don't know if Duo even mentioned his last meeting with me, let alone what we spoke of. I ran into him while I was doing a little shopping in your area. I'm sorry if that seems like I was invading your territory or something. People have been known to do some crazy things during the holidays, when it comes to finding just the right presents for the ones we love. In any case, that was when Duo gave me your business card.
It was also when he met my daughter, Maddie. She still doesn't know anything about Duo, or her father's first marriage, but I hope one day to be able to tell her. She shouldn't have to find out about all of it the way I did. And one day, if she wants it, I hope Duo will be willing to meet with her. It is certainly not my intent to form a new sort of family unit. I understand Duo's obvious distaste for anything having to do with his father, and their connection is tenuous at best, but it is a connection nevertheless. I asked Duo if this would be okay with him. Although I did not receive a direct response, I did end up with your contact info, so I can only assume that he was not entirely against the idea.
I do not think Maddie will be ready to hear all of this for some time yet. Or perhaps I will not be ready to tell it all to her. But in anticipation of that day, I hope you will allow the lines of communication between us to remain open. You raised a fine young man, and I would have nothing but pride in introducing him to my daughter as her half-brother.
Best wishes,
Elizabeth
~*~
Elizabeth,
Duo's a smart boy. He knew what he was doing when he gave you my business card. He may not look forward to hearing from you, but he can't exactly complain about it, either. Well, I guess he set things up so I'm the one hearing from you, not him. That's fine. It's probably best that way anyway. I'm just a cranky old geezer with nothing better to do with my time. He's in his last semester in school, busy with trying to find a job and all that annoying growing-up stuff. I'm sure he could use one less thing to worry about.
Glad to hear you won't be picking at old scabs so much anymore. Glad to hear it's because you got yourself a good family, too. I can't speak much for the kid, but I don't think he'll go too crazy about you two as long as you turn out to be decent folks. Just make sure to give us plenty of warning before showing up, and don't go expecting too much.
If you suddenly find some other new unresolved question burning a hole through your brain, maybe you ought to just e-mail me instead of dropping by. No offense, but it just seems like that'd be the best thing for everyone's blood pressure.
- Howard
TBC...
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