*...* denotes thought or psychic speech
~~~ indicates scene breaks or flashbacks
[1, 2, 3, ...] indicates author's notes at end
Notes: anyway, this chapter doesn't focus in on the present of my fic, but rather the past life of Heero and Duo. It all takes place in the past and doesn't really touch upon what's happening in the present. If anyone gets a bit confused, just email me and I'll try to explain it. Mostly it's a breakdown of some of the history in Heero and Duo's past. You can view this as if you were in Heero's head remembering his past life, I guess.
Embrace The Night Part 10a
Sank Kingdom, AC 86 [five years after the fire - don't remember the fire? see chapter 7]
Heero Lowe sighed as he stretched his arms skyward, attempting to alleviate the kinks that had built up in the strained muscles. As he allowed the long, graceful limbs to fall back to his sides, he blew a small gust of wind upwards into his unruly bangs that refused to stay out of his eyes. As he stared at the mountain of paperwork that had accumulated on his desk, he felt his hand start to cramp at the thought of filling it all out.
The paperwork resting on his desk was really nothing more than files and current up-to-date insurance forms that needed to be completed for the accounting and personnel departments; nothing that couldn't wait until the dawn of a new day. But then again, filling out the tiny little lines on the forms was so tedious that Heero didn't really want to consider procrastinating the task. He would eventually have to complete it, and he'd rather do it now than later, since there really was no point in putting it off. He really didn't feel like being hounded after by Shihoko-san.
Except that today was his twenty first birthday and the other adults in his unit had planned to hold a small celebration in his honor. After all, it wasn't everyday that the youngest member of the Sank Kingdom's aeronautical stunt flight squad turned of legal age. It was a night on the town for everyone, following their evening performance, and he couldn't let them down by refusing to participate. Especially since he was to be the guest of honor. A fellow aeronaut had joked with him that, "Youth is like a jet, fast and fleeting. Party hard and often!"
He supposed that the slightly older pilot was right, and though everyone was in a partying mood, Heero found he could hardly muster the expected excitement about his coming of age. After all, even though this date was his birthday, it was also the five year reunion of the day he and his mysterious benefactor, Duo, had parted ways.
Heero, lost in his thoughts, turned to stare out his window at the fading sunlight, reminding himself painfully that this used to be the time when he would be eagerly awaiting the end of the day, for the coming of the night. For with the darkness of evening and the rising of the moon, Duo had often visited his small cramped room at the orphanage.
But that had been before the terrible fire had occurred.
And even that disastrous event had brought about a wondrous new path for his life. The fire had acted as a tool of change, ending one miserable existence and replacing it with one filled with light and friendship. For soon after the fire had occurred, Duo had come to the orphanage, swept Heero away from the sympathetic ministrations of the good sisters, and introduced him to the world outside.
As he watched the setting sun of the present, he mused on the past. It had been a few weeks after moving in with Duo that he had first felt the tingling in his legs. From there, sensation had quickly returned to his long dormant limbs, eventually resulting in his regaining control of his legs. For the first time since he could remember, Heero had been able to walk, skip, jump, and play, just like the other boys at the orphanage. No longer a cripple, he was now physically complete and whole and could rejoin the rest of humanity in their taken for granted freedom.
The joy that had encompassed him after gaining use of his legs had leaked out to catch Duo in its embrace as well, the braided man sharing in his growing delight. There had been no explanation for the sudden physical change in Heero's body, no reasoning as to why he had no wounds from a fire he had been sure he had been burned by. No logical thinking could explain why his legs had suddenly grown strong enough for him to walk and dance.
At least no logical thinking on his part.
Duo had been strangely quiet and reluctant to discuss possible reasons for Heero's miraculous recoveries. He often quietly encouraged Heero to drop the subject, to chalk it up as some mysterious, unexplainable miracle of God, or whatever deity Heero chose to give thanks to. There were times that Heero could have sworn that he saw something lingering in Duo's eyes; a hint to the answers the young boy sought, as well as some dark, nameless emotion that Heero had never before been privy to. On rare occasions, Heero thought he saw guilt in Duo's eyes, guilt and fear. But those negative emotions were soon wiped away, if they ever existed in the first place, and those lovely amaryllis eyes usually became filled with light and happiness.
It seemed with every new experience that Heero tasted, Duo shared in his revelations and enjoyment. It once occurred to Heero that it seemed as if Duo was living, or reliving, something through Heero. Every emotion that Heero felt was amplified in the braided man, as if Duo had forgotten what it was like to be young and free.
But that of course was ridiculous since Duo wasn't that much older than Heero himself.
Even if something hidden deep in his eyes screamed the contrary.
And yet their happy time together was not to last for eternity it seemed, for all too soon they had parted ways.
Heero had never questioned why he only saw Duo during the evening. He never stopped to think upon the fact that his braided benefactor and friend would disappear with each dawn of the sun and only reappear at the onset of twilight. He had simply accepted it as fact and truth and had adjusted his own schedule accordingly, sleeping away the heat the day and awakening in the late afternoon to enjoy the last moments of the sun, even though it was artificial. While being able to run and walk in the sunlight was a joy to him, for some reason it had felt empty not being shared with Duo.
He filled his time reading books from the large selection that Duo had purchased, often dreaming of one day visiting the far off lands and exotic regions of the Earth. He loved his colony and space, the vast infiniteness and possibilities that existed. But he was human and he wished to see the Earth at least once in his lifetime, to taste natural sunshine and nature's beauty first hand. In his youthful innocence he had pondered the possibility that perhaps Duo would accompany him.
Something had been brewing in him, feelings that he had never felt before. He had admitted to himself that Duo had become an important part of his life, a pivotal player who had stayed when so many had fled. At that time, he had not been sure what those feelings he felt meant, or how they had grown so strong in the few months he had been with Duo. But then he had known Duo had been watching over him for much of his life, Duo had said as much during that first meeting he remembered. He was Heero's guardian angel.
After all, it had been Duo who had denied him his earlier attempt at suicide, taking away the bottle of poison which would have granted the invalid boy a quick, merciful death. And Duo had comforted him through his sorrow and his self pity, showing him that there were things in his life worth living for. Duo had been the one to whisk him away from the orphanage and the dull future that had awaited him there. And it had been with Duo that he had taken both his first aided and unaided steps.
However, in his walking alone, he had created a gulf that now separated him and his benefactor. In his walking unaided, his joy had been so overwhelming and encompassing, that in a rare fit of emotions, he had embraced the braided man and planted a small kiss on Duo's cheek. He had thought nothing of it at the time, but obviously it had been the wrong thing to do.
It hadn't been obvious at the time, but looking back now Heero could tell that kiss had been the catalyst which had started to push Duo away. For some reason, unknown to him, Duo had started to distance himself away from Heero, becoming reticent and secluded. And yet, even though his actions had left Heero confused and slightly hurt, Heero had received the feeling that it wasn't something that he had done, necessarily, but rather, it was something that Duo had been AFRAID might happen or develop. Heero had never been able to fathom the reasons behind it, and a few weeks later, it hadn't even been a moot point.
On the evening of Heero's sixteenth birthday, Duo had announced that he had made provisions for Heero to attend a prestigious academy, a boarding school of sorts. Its discipline had been in the aeronautical fields, it seemed that Duo had been paying attention when Heero had mentioned wanting to become a pilot. As excited as he had been to finally be able to attend a flight school, Heero had also dreaded having to go since it would mean leaving the first real friend he had ever made. A friend that he now admitted he had begun to feel romantically attracted to.
Yet, even though Duo was pushing him away, he had been careful to let Heero know that it wasn't something that Heero had done wrong. Rather, Duo had told the confused boy that he needed to mingle with others his age, to meet those who shared his common interests. But Heero hadn't wanted to leave Duo. He had been frightened at the very prospect. After all, Duo was the only constant in his life, the only security he had. But still, their separation had come.
One good thing had come from being sent away to school, besides the chance to learn to fly. The flight school had been located on Earth, in a good size kingdom called the Sank Kingdom. Heero was getting two gifts in one. He was getting to see the Earth, something that he had wanted to do for as long as he had wanted to walk, and he was getting to achieve one of his dreams.
He had always been fascinated with airplanes and spacecrafts. He had yearned for the freedom of the skies, to soar in the clouds of the sky or the stars of space. He always supposed the yearning for the weightless freedom of flight had sprung from the fact that he had been irrevocably bound to the ground through his disability, though now it seemed that barrier was gone.
And although the time he had spent with Duo after regaining control of his legs had been short, a brief passing of a few mere weeks, he had never forgotten him. Especially since Duo had enabled him to achieve his dreams. However, the achievement of two of his dreams had come at a terrible cost. In leaving space and the colony, he had also lost touch with his benefactor.
At first, he had written to Duo, but the only address he had to which he could post his letters had been the temporary house he had lived in with Duo for a few weeks. His letters had come back with the notation that the occupants of the said house had moved without leaving a forwarding address. And yet, his bank account, the one Duo had insisted on opening for him, was always full. Heero had felt guilty spending his money when he couldn't even acknowledge his generosity with a note of thanks.
For a short period of time Heero had refused to spend the funds, but when two months had passed with no withdrawal, he had received a short note from Duo urging, more like commanding, him to indulge himself. It was the only letter he ever received from the braided man and he had carried it with him until it had become dog eared around the edges.
Five years.
Heero still couldn't believe how far he had come in five years. How fast he took to his lessons, learning in months what had taken others years to accomplish. Impossible and miraculous it seemed, yet strangely right. He took to flying like a fish to water, learning the dynamics and schematics of his craft like the back of his hand.
Barely out of the flight academy, he had been snatched up by the aeronautical stunt squadron and team of the Sank Kingdom. Basically he was getting paid, quite handsomely too, to do a job that he loved. He was allowed the freedom to fly the fastest and most up-to-date versions of advanced crafts and suits, and he performed amazing and daredevil stunts in front of large crowds of people who came to be awed and amazed. As one of the elite members of the Specials [1], he was idolized and revered by many of the fans that existed both in Sank and around the world.
Fame and fortune was all well and good, he supposed, but he would have been content to just fly. And since the world was in a state of peace for the moment, the best option left open was stunt flying. Luckily, his quick reflexes and speed had won him the top honors of his flight class and given him a bright future.
He was easily recognized on the streets of the Sank Kingdom, even if he wasn't wearing his unique Specials' colors of green, black, and red. Fans sent him trinkets and letters of adoration, prizes of fame that he and his fellow pilots were all showered with, sometimes to the point of excess. He had even received numerous offers of marriage by some of the more infatuated fans, as had many of his fellow pilots, from both woman AND men. Heero had flown before all types of crowds, including royalty from all over the world.
He had done all the things he had ever dreamed of, and still his life was lacking something vital. He wanted to fly for Duo, to show off the fruits of his labors and gifts. He wanted to fly with Duo, to share the exhilarating experience with one he felt could truly understand the significance of such a feat. But, more than anything, he wanted to gaze into the depths of those haunted violet eyes, to hear Duo speak in his wonderfully smooth tone. Yet, more than anything, he yearned to wipe the elusive sorrow from those eyes, to make Duo smile, really smile; to see genuine happiness and not the clown's performance on that handsome visage.
"Heero?"
Heero looked up startled as a voice pierced through his musings. He dimly noted in his peripheral vision that the sun had long set and evening had settled upon the earth's surface. His blue gaze fell upon the person who interrupted his thinking, questions in his eyes.
"I asked if you're ready to go?"
"Yes." Heero flashed a brief smile at his fellow pilot, Triton Bloom.[2] Triton was a tall and slender pilot, his eurasian features half hidden by a long fringe of brown bangs. Heero often found himself wondering, during moments of complete mindlessness, why Trowa's vision was not impairing by that hair during flight. However, his appearance did nothing more than to incite the fans enthusiasm with his aura of mysteriousness and reticence. Tall and lean, Triton had the innate grace born of a dancer, though he was in his natural atmosphere as a pilot. He had been one of Heero's first good friends in the Specials squadron.
Heero stood up, ready to join his fellow pilot just as soon as he tucked his paperwork safely away in his desk. It seemed he had wasted his time after all and the paperwork would have to be done tomorrow. Oh well. With that small task done, Heero and Triton left his office, heading to the hanger and their waiting audience.
~~~
[after the night's show]
Duo sat in the audience, amidst the screaming and youthful fans of the Sank Kingdom's Specials. Although he matched his neighbors in their youthful appearance and facades, his own soul, if he still had one left, was considerably older. As he stared blankly into the night sky, set afire by the light of the stars and the artificial lights of the launchpad, he mused on the circumstances of his life.
Five years had passed since he'd sent Heero to Earth. Five years were but a moment in the life of a vampire, he thought ruefully, yet each day of those years had seemed their own eternity.
Once he had sent Heero away, the little things he had taken for granted had lost their appeal. He had found no joy in his existence with Heero gone from him, he had realized too late how much he had relied upon seeing the young man on a day to day basis. And yet, that had been one of the reasons he had sent Heero away, to protect him from this growing desire to keep the young Asian boy by his side for eternity.
He had fed in spurts; having no appetite he had fed when the hunger had become excruciating, but not before. Only when it had grown unbearable had he slithered from his newly chosen lair to prowl in the night, hunting his sustenance. Each night he had lived on, the ache from missing Heero growing a little larger.
He had kept running tabs on his little beneficiary, proudly marking each new achievement made by Heero. He had felt pride and satisfaction at how well Heero had taken to his chosen field of study, had felt joy at the happiness that shone from Heero's face in the pictures and newscasts that reported on his adventures.
Five years... Heero was now twenty one years old, a man grown. He almost matched Duo in age, or the age Duo had been when he had crossed that gulf between mortality and immortality. But suddenly, Duo had known he had to see him again, just once. He wanted to see Heero in his new life, see his show.
And then Duo would go to ground and sleep. Sleep until Heero's life was over and he was eternally safe from Duo's hunger.
At least that's what he had promised himself. That's what he had sworn to himself when he had journeyed to the Sank Kingdom. Just once, and that was all.
And that had been ten shows ago.
He was obsessed. He admitted it willingly to himself. He couldn't leave. He couldn't say goodbye. Even now, when he knew he should leave and never come back, he found himself drawn to wherever Heero was.
The evening's show had been spectacular, the same as the past dozen nights. Heero, accompanied by four other pilots, had lit up the evening sky with trails of color. Performing daredevil aeronautical stunts that awed and enthused the crowd, Duo could easily see why the Specials were considered the best of the best. Their flight, accompanied and choreographed to raging music that blared from powerful sound systems, was thrilling and magnificent. Duo had found himself holding his breath as Heero had completed several dangerous passes; passes, if completed improperly, that could have resulted in his death. Yet the flight was tightly controlled and precisely attuned so that not a single nuance was out of sequence.
When the final piece had been performed and the squad had disappeared into their home bunker, Duo had sat back in his seat and closed his eyes. The performance had been flawless, and Duo knew he had been born to fly.
*You've seen him, now go,* the little voice in his mind commanded. Yet Duo could not obey, would not obey. He couldn't stop thinking of Heero and he didn't want to stop thinking of him.
He knew something had occurred between the two of them, five years ago. That had been one of the reasons that he had pushed Heero away. He had tried to deny the attraction, to dampen the fuse before it could ignite the flames of passion, but he had been too late.
He desired something, someone, for the first time in countless centuries. And for the first time, there was a distinct possibility that the object of his desire also desired him. It was time for the braided vampire to act upon his whims and take a chance, before it was too late.
~~~
Duo stood at the window of the dwelling that he knew to be Heero's. The small apartment was in a quiet neighborhood, the denizens content to keep the peace and respect the privacy of the others. All in all, it was a neighborhood that would have appealed to the human Duo had been, and did appeal to the quiet creature that lurked in his deepest heart. He wasn't surprised that Heero had chosen such a place to live in, this simple display of domestic bliss and harmony.
The vampire stood at Heero's window as he had so often stood on the balcony at the orphanage, watching him sleep. Heero had been beautiful as a young child, his youthful body and face had contained that characteristic sweet androgyny that seemed to grace many boys. As a young teen, he had been enchanting to look at, his features a brief glimpse of possibility and promise.
However, now, as a young man, his features had strengthened and matured into the sensual grace of adulthood. Confidence had given Heero a glow and an aura of self worth, a sense of joy that enfolded and attracted others around him, like moths to a flame. He was exquisite, a prize bloom among undeserving thorns.
His unruly brown hair, still wild and untamed, continued to flop endearingly into his eyes. The breeze from the open window teased a few of the silken ends, causing the strands to brush against cheeks as smooth as ivory but delightfully tanned a golden hue. Those wonderfully deep, Prussian orbs that Duo felt he could drown in, moved lightly beneath their fleshy curtains, the lashes dark crescents. Although his eyes were closed in repose, Duo could picture them open in his mind.
Heero slept under a light scattering of covers, the warm summer night providing more than enough warmth. Duo could see the muscles that lay dormant in powerful arms and legs, strengthened through faithful and diligent training. As Duo's eyes made a quick pass around the rest of the room, his eyes almost missed the tattered and worn bear that resided on the dresser.
Duo's heart melted again as he saw the evidence that Heero still thought of him. The young man had kept the present Duo had given to him, more than five years ago, though the bear's fur was now worn and matted, the ribbon in tatters, the nose and eyes dull with the ravages of time. Yet the poor condition of the bear was only symbolic of the amount of affection that Heero had placed upon the gift, having obviously treasured it since the day he had received it.
Duo's attention returned to Heero, and a deep ache rose inside of his soul. An ache that throbbed with the loneliness of over 950 odd years. A low groan rose in his throat.
950 odd years of solitude, of existing on the fringe of life, sustaining himself at the cost of others' blood. He had studied with the most brilliant minds of humanity and the ages, traveled the world and space over, seen the rise and fall of countless kingdoms and powers. All without being a part of the world of men, of humanity, for more than nine centuries. Times had changed. People had changed, yet he remained the same. Always the same, yet always alone. So afraid to love and let people back into his heart. So afraid to trust...
And this one young man crashed through all those barriers he had once erected to protect himself, destroyed the illusions of solitude and security he had convinced himself he had.
Unable to help himself, Duo melded his mind with Heero's, and there, in the netherworld of sleep, he allowed himself to do what he yearned to do in reality. He quietly seduced Heero with his thoughts, molding their dream bodies together and whispering his desire to the one who held his heart. In the safety of dreams, he dared to love again.
~~~
Heero woke with Duo's name on his lips, his skin damp, his breathing labored. His whole being was filled with a languorous sense of warmth and fulfillment, a feeling that had eluded him for the past five years.
Heero could feel the blush that burned his cheeks as the memory of his dream surfaced in his mind. He had been dreaming of Duo, not that that was something new, dreaming that the braided man had been making love to him. Duo's hands had been hot and impatient as they caressed his body, his voice raw with desire. His lips had scorched pathways of liquid fire down Heero's throat, chest, and abdominal regions. Heero could remember the feel of Duo's teeth at his neck, the heat of his tongue as he laved the pulse at his throat. And Duo's eyes... they had burned with an all consuming fire, searing away all thought but the desire to please him and to be pleased by him.
All in all, it had been the most real, and the most provocative wet dream he had ever had.
Not that that had been a bad thing.
No, not bad at all.
Heero took a deep breath, meant to steady his jumpy nerves, when his nostrils were suddenly filled with Duo's unique scent, that tantalizing mixture of musk and twilight. A scent that he had not sensed for five years, yet here it was as clear as day.
Startled, Heero bolted upright in his bed, clutching the sheet tightly in both fists.
"A dream," he murmured to himself, even as his gaze peered into the dark corners of his room. "That's all it was. A dream... not real."
Even as he continued to quietly reassure himself that the terribly erotic dream and the rioting sensations had not been real, merely a production of his deepest, forbidden fantasies, the young ace pilot couldn't quite shake the feeling that Duo had indeed been there.
TBC...
[1] yes, I'm aware that the Specials is the name given to the branch of the Earth Alliance military staffed and trained by Romefeller which later serves as a cover for OZ's infiltration of the Alliance command structure. However, for the needs of the fic, I'm snatching the name... ^_^ explanation?... it's an AU fic, deal with it... heh heh heh...
[2] all will be explained, don't worry... but I'm sure you all know who the REAL Triton Bloom is, right? ^_~ Remember how I keep alluding something happened in Q and T's relationship that was eventually patched up? Well, this is just another subpoint in that little bit...
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