It's A Hard Knock Life Part 11
Revelations

When Solo came home, it was just barely dawn, too dark to be considered morning. Duo was lying awake on his side, curled up with his knees almost drawn to his chest. He had brushed and rebraided his hair.

Solo had stripped down to a pair of long, soft ragged flannel pants and nothing else. With all the makeup washed from his face and his hair washed into sleek, shining sealskin waves to his shoulders, he looked much younger than he had when Duo first saw him. The blonde orphan crawled into the bed next to Duo and curled up beside him, shivering and still a little wet from the basin of cold water he had washed in, which was the closest they could come to having a shower.

He slid against Duo and slowly put his arms around the braided pilot's back, not clasping his hands around Duo's waist until Duo's head tilted back in a sigh. Solo felt Duo go rigid for a second before Shinigami relaxed back against him.

When Duo spoke, it was to say something Solo didn't expect in the slightest.

"He's going to kill me, Solo. You say you can stop it... but you can't. And maybe... I don't want you to."

Solo tensed, scowling a little in the darkness. His voice was a hoarse, tired whisper. "What?"

"He hates me, Solo. And I didn't think he was human enough to hate anything."

"No," Solo said softly. His voice was calm and quiet. "He doesn't hate you, Duo. He loves you."

"How the hell do you know?"

"Because you have to love something first, to hate it. And he didn't hit you, Duo. He kissed you. Last time I checked, that wasn't a warning sign."

Duo's voice was a whisper. "He chose the Mission over me. He threatened to kill me."

"I know, but why? Why not just do it? He's the Perfect Soldier, Duo. Why not just blow your brains out in that damned hotel room, huh? You ever think about what it meant when he couldn't do it?"

Duo became quiet and still in Solo's arms. Angry. Outside, it was beginning to rain heavily and loudly, a rarity on the colony.

Solo sighed, pulling Duo tighter to him. "You have power over him, Duo. Over his emotions. If he hated you, he would have killed you. But he doesn't. He threatened to kill you because he couldn't handle what you'd done to him."

"How would you know!?" Duo ripped out of Solo's embrace. The blonde orphan pushed up onto his elbows, watching him. "How the fuck would you know, Solo!?!" Duo tried to summon fury to combat the threat of sobs that were locking his throat.

/ Boys don't cry... boys don't cry... boys don't cry... /

Solo just looked at him wearily. "Because I care about you too, and I know what you can do to people, Duo. You make them love you without even knowing it. Jesus, Duo, when you walked out, it must have killed him... just like it killed me," he added, looking away.

Duo opened his mouth, but he couldn't make anything come out of it. He turned to the broken window of the warehouse instead, gazing out at the neon lights that were just now flickering out.

Solo got up and walked over to Duo, who lifted his eyes from the street. The braided pilot bowed his head as Solo curved both arms around his back. "Nevermind it, D. Just too damned tired. And the rain... makes me sentimental, I guess. You know?"

"... Yeah."

Solo took his arms off Duo gently, walking back over to the bed and crawling under the covers. Duo stood at the window, feeling his bangs stick to his forehead with the humidity.

After a moment, he turned and got into the bed.

For minutes, they didn't even touch. Solo lay in an exhausted heap on his stomach, Duo curled up again on his side as if expecting someone to give him a kick. Then Solo reached over and traced a scar on Duo's back, making him shiver. He nestled closer until he fell asleep with his lips brushing Duo's neck.

Duo did not sleep for hours. When he finally did, he didn't dream.

~*~

"Can you take me to Haven?"

The boy Heero had spoken to looked at him warily with a cocked, cynical eye, and remained silent.

Heero repeated himself slowly. "Can you take me to Haven?" It was the only place Duo had mentioned during the few times he spoke of his childhood on L2. It wasn't much of a lead, but to Heero, it was better than nothing at all.

"You have cop eyes."

Heero almost smiled. But didn't. He wasn't... feeling well. He shivered, even though it was burning up outside. A sheen of sweat beaded his forehead. // Just stress, // he told himself fiercely. // I'm just tired. Not enough sleep. //

"I'm not a cop. Can you tell me where Haven is or not? There's creds in it if you can."

The boy's gaze sparked momentarily, but that cautious, guarded expression never left his face. "Maxwell place?"

"Hai. Yes. Maxwell."

"Maybe I know it. How much money are we talking about?"

"A thousand now, a thousand when you get me to Haven."

The boy stiffened and turned to Heero, the cynicism wiped from his face and replaced by flat disbelief. "Two thousand creds just to guide you through the slums? Holy Jesus, man, what in the hell is so important at the Maxwell block?"

Heero's eyes narrowed. "I'm not paying you to ask questions. I'm paying you to be a guide. If you don't want the money, I'll find someone else who does."

The boy shook his head. "I... I really need that money, man. If I had two thousand creds... I could buy my lil' brother some drugs... he's got a broke foot, got crushed under an Ozzy tank... if I had drugs for 'im, maybe he wouldn't scream so fuckin' much. But I can't show you where Haven is. It's a safehouse against the Ozzies. Part of the Underground. Foxy would kill me if I showed you where it was."

"Show me and I'll double my offer."

The boy looked into Heero's face, checking to see if he was serious, then shook his head harder. "Dude, don't you get it? I'm not exaggerating, he'd fuckin' kill me! I'm not gonna take it, and neither is anybody else around here. No point in having creds if you're not alive to spend 'em. Foxy doesn't fuck around."

The boy turned around and started to walk away. Heero stood his ground, watching the boy go. Finally, the boy stopped, turning back to look at him. When the boy spoke again, his voice was confident and soft.

"Seven thousand creds. Not a fuckin' dime less. With seven grand I can put my brother in the hospital for awhile. Maybe even get 'im a surgery so he can walk on his foot again. Without a limp, you know." The boy's gaze hardened. "Won't live long around here with a limp. I want him to be able to run again."

Heero thought it over. He was torn between feeling that he shouldn't haggle with a poor boy who had probably never seen a thousand creds at one time in his entire life and hating the fact that he was getting ripped off.

// What the hell. He's risking his life. // Heero smiled a little. // And it's not my money anyway. May as well put it to a good cause. //

"Deal. Take me to Maxwell."

// I'm going to find you, Duo. And I'm going to bring you back. Alive. //

If anyone could do it, he could.

~*~

When it started to grow dark, shadows pooling in the alleys and street corners, Solo slowly opened his eyes. He had ended up sprawled across his side of the bed with no blankets, covered with a sheen of light sweat from the heat. His flannel pants had ended up on the floor. Duo was wrapped up in the blankets, nothing but the end of his braid trailing out.

Solo got out of bed, stretching until he heard his spine pop and yawning until his jaw did the same. The room was filthy hot, even though it was coming on twilight.

He shook the sleep out of his head, then walked over and shook Duo on the shoulder, gently. "C'mon, Duo. Get up."

"Nn-nn." There was a vague shaking in the area where Duo's head would be.

Solo snorted. "Duo, you can't mope around here forever. What, you gonna stay in bed with the blankets over your head for the rest of your life, huh? If he's as good as you say he is, he'll find you there, too."

Duo laid beneath the comforting canopy of the blankets, even though it was way too hot to be sleeping with blankets. He was sticky and gritty and dehydrated. // I need a shower. // He imagined just a plain, good ol' cold shower over at the hotel and gritted his teeth. Just the thought of water made his thirst agonizing.

What had Solo said? Everybody loved him... everybody wanted him. But he was just everybody's goddamned fool, because all he wanted was a dark-haired halfbreed Japanese pilot who didn't want him back.

He knew what he'd done was a mistake, a huge mistake. He should have just left, not told Heero were he was going, not told him the Mission was refused, just disappeared. Eventually... Heero would have continued the Mission without him... right?

"Duo, I know you feel terrible, but nobody's worth that much pain. It couldn't have lasted, you know that. You can do better. Find someone you can be yourself around. He's real glamorous and mysterious, Duo... but a killer's all he is."

Finally, Duo spoke up. "Then so am I." Solo didn't answer for a minute.

"I thought you didn't want to be one anymore."

Duo didn't have the energy to argue. He was physically rested, now... but he still felt tired. Emotionally drained.

Solo jerked him out from under the covers by his braid. "OW! Dammit Solo!"

"Look, Duo, just get up. Get a bath, get somethin' to eat, just fix yourself up, you look like hell. You can go out and hunt with Willow, Leais, and Maxy. Or Mao might even let you go with her. But you can't sit around here and moon on like this. It ain't healthy."

"Why can't I go with you?"

Solo smiled grimly. "You don't want to go with me. You'll be safer with the girls. I'll keep my eyes out for your beau so we can have a little one-on-one conversation. I won't let him hurt you."

Duo looked at him. // It's not me I'm concerned about. //

"Don't hurt him, Solo."

Solo blinked at him, surprised. "What makes you think I would do that?"

Duo just looked at him steadily. Solo grinned a little.

"Alright, alright. I won't hurt 'im, D. But I'm not gonna let him hurt me either. Or you."

Solo crossed the room in a few swift strides and put one hand on Duo's shoulder, tracing the contour of the pilot's face with the other, moving his fingertips from Duo's forehead to his upper lip, then over his mouth, catching his lips before tracing his jaw.

"Promise you're gonna get out tonight, D. Go earn your keep... maybe have a good time. Promise you won't mope around here?"

Duo's expression had grown drowsy, his lips slightly parted as Solo leaned in close to him. His answer was a sigh.

"Promise."

When Solo spoke again, the blonde's lips brushed softly over his. "Good enough."

TBC...

 

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